


How's It Gonna Be (ReWritten)

by EnbyStiles



Series: A New Trick To Being Happy [1]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family Reunions, Fear, Feelings Realization, Head Injury, Hurt/Comfort, I reject your canon and substitute my own, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internal Conflict, M/M, Madison Clark needs to be set on fire ;), Minor Drug Withdrawal, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Protective Nick Clark, Rewrite, Set immediately after Sleigh Ride, Swearing, Troy Otto is not a psychopath, fuck season 4, pre-slash for a hot minute, season 4? don't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnbyStiles/pseuds/EnbyStiles
Summary: With his suicide attempt a failure, Nick watches helplessly as his family is sucked away in the flood caused by him blowing up the dam. He can't do anything else to save them now. But there is one thing he can do.After rushing back into the crumbling structure, Nick finds Troy barely clinging to life in the quickly flooding corridors. He gets him out, but will he survive?~~~~This is a major edit and rewrite of my fic by the same name from 2017~
Relationships: Nick Clark/Troy Otto
Series: A New Trick To Being Happy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802083
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71





	1. Suicide-proof

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! I had the idea to do a major edit/rewrite of HIGB and after some encouragement and a lot of energy drinks HERE WE ARE! I know it's probably silly to make this into a new story instead of updating the original, which is what I initially started to do. But I wanted to have this as sort of a reference of how far I've come as a writer over the years.
> 
> I'm seriously so fucking happy with how this turned out and I really hope you all enjoy it.  
> Before we move on I need to thank my dear Polly-Ollie for being my editor, encouraging me to write, and dealing with me for 3 years of my bullshit <3 I Love you, I appreciate you, and thank you so much.  
> NOW LET'S BEGIN!

Nick looks away from the Zodiac as it’s sucked into the jagged opening of the partially destroyed dam beneath his feet, taking his mom, sister, and Strand with it. A moment later Daniel appeared and placed a hand on his arm, drawing his attention away from the fast-moving water below. 

"We need to get out of here," he says, urging the young man to follow him away from the crumbling structure. The bridge they stood on was mostly stable for the moment, but that could change quickly and take them down with it. 

"Just go without me, there's something I need to do," Nick says dismissively as he shrugged the older man's hand off of him. He couldn't leave. Not yet.

Daniel watches, confused, as Nick takes off running for the entrance of the dam. "What are you doing! You're going to get yourself killed, Nicholas!" he called after him, tone surprisingly concerned.

"Just go!" Nick shouts back sharply. "I'm suicide-proof," he mutters to himself bitterly. The memory of the last time he said those words creeping into the forefront of his mind, making his stomach twist painfully. 

He makes his way back into the flooding section of the dam, running past the handful of remaining workers and Proctors that were making their own escape. A few of them tried to stop him, tell him he’s going the wrong way in quickly spoken Spanish that he just barely catches in his own haste. He waves them off and pushes past on, finding his way back through the corridors he barely got a chance to note the layout of earlier.

A few agonizingly long minutes later he was back in the dugout section of the dam where everything went to hell. The rising water hadn’t fully flooded the room yet, and the second he lays eyes on Troy’s body, everything that happened earlier that day flashes before his eyes like it was going down all over again. 

He could still see the shock and disbelief on Troy’s face at Madison’s first strike. Hear the sickening crack as the hammer connected with his skull a second time, before Troy tumbled down to land in a heap at the bottom of the ditch they stood above.

The water that was making its way into the crumbling structure was only to the middle of Troy's torso, but it was climbing steadily, leaving only his chest, head, and knees unsubmerged. Nick slides down the side of the quickly eroding embankment and comes to a stop beside his fallen friend’s body. Steeling himself, he hooks his hands under Troy's arms and began to hoist him up from the water. 

Much to his surprise, Troy’s body isn't stiff and immovable like Nick had expected him to be. No, Troy’s body moves along easily as Nick struggled his way up to the hallway, where he begins to drag his body out of this godforsaken place. 

For a brief moment, Nick thinks he hears a groan come from Troy. But that was impossible, his mom had bashed Troy’s brains in with a fucking hammer. 

No, the grief of losing Troy so unexpectedly after everything that had gone down in the past few days was just too much. It was messing with him. That had to be it. Just his mind playing tricks on him again. 

He’s halfway to the doors that lead back outside when he hears it again. A faint, pained sound after Troy’s body slip from his grasp, and his head and upper body fall to the floor. He pauses, a mix of anxiety and fear filling him, along with the already present storm of emotions he can’t name, before he looks around for any signs of the dead roaming about the surrounding corridors. Because that had to be the source of the sound. When there are no dead roaming to be seen, he casts a skeptical eye on the corpse before him. 

Troy is dead, he has to be dead. There's no way he could be coming back as one of those things... right? He was killed by a hammer to the head. There’s no turning after something like that... 

Hesitantly, Nick kneels down and reached a slightly shaky hand out to open Troy's eye. He vaguely remembers Troy saying that he believed it would take 87 minutes for him to turn, based on his own calculations. It’s been at least that long, if not longer... Could it be? 

Nick nearly loses his balance and falls on his ass from shock the second he pries Troy's eyelid open to reveal a perfect blue iris. But not just that, it’s a perfect blue iris that reacts to the light filtering in through the dirty windows of the hallway around them. 

"Troy?" Nick utters, voice trembling a bit as he checks his friend’s other eye before he reaches to check for a pulse. Troy gives no response but he does have a pulse, slow but steady. Nick even leans down and puts his ear to Troy’s chest to listen for the sound of his heartbeat and breathing. They’re weak, but there nonetheless. 

A wave of relief hits him so hard he has to forces back tears."Hold on, Troy," he says more to himself than to the unconscious man laid out before him. 

After a bit of a struggle, he manages to pull Troy up and over his shoulders in a sort of mock fireman's carry, only losing his balance for a moment before finding it again and taking off as quickly as he can towards the entrance of the dam. 

He needs to get Troy somewhere safe. Then, if the assholes that made him blow the dam really are all gone like he suspects they are, he needs to find them a ride and some medical supplies so he can see if he can do anything to patch Troy up. At least well enough to get him to someone that can really help him, because at the very least his friend has to have a fractured skull. Worst case scenario he has brain damage and won't live much longer… Nick tries not to dwell on that thought, as it makes bile rise in the back of his throat and fear claw at his insides. 

Fuck, he seriously wishes they had never left the bazaar that morning. He could have spent his days chopping heads off of corpses for El Matarife and his nights high with Troy for the rest of his life and been fine with that. His mom and Alicia would have found a way out of things without him being here to save the day. 

But no, Troy had to overhear what was going to happen to the dam and insist they needed to warn his mom and the others. 

Troy, of all people, had wanted to help others when he could have just as easily pretended he heard nothing. And Nick couldn't deny him that after everything they had been through together. 

Once they’re out of the dam Nick pauses a moment and looks around to find the place abandoned. Everyone left alive was running from the crumbling remains of the dam or had gotten in a vehicle and booked it in the time it took Nick to drag Troy out. He’s not surprised. Had things gone down any different he wouldn’t have wanted to stick around either...

Their jeep is long gone, not that he expected it to be here. He knew Troy had left the keys in it in their rush to get to his mom and the others. But fortunately for them, there were still several other vehicles left behind. With a grunt, he sets Troy down as carefully as he can in the back of a nearby truck. There are two others, and four vans left behind.

The first vehicle he found to not be locked was an unmarked van, and thankfully the keys were tucked away into the visor above the driver’s seat. It was being used as a work van from the looks of it, with no seats in the back. Nick hops behind the wheel and is able to back it up to where he left Troy, and get him transferred over to the new vehicle without much issue. He can’t help himself and he checks Troy’s pulse one more time before closing the door and going to check the remaining few vehicles for supplies.

He has to smash the windows of two of them with a brick to gain access, but it’s worth it. All of the dam’s official work vehicles have first aid kits ticked away in them, along with a few small bottles of water, and surprisingly, some MREs. 

He even finds two fully loaded handguns and a decent hunting knife with brass knuckles built into the handle hidden under the seat of one truck. 

Nick quickly moves all of the supplies he could find into the van Troy is stowed away in, and tucks one gun into his jacket pocket, before opening one of the first aid kits and taking a closer look at his friend’s injuries for the first time. The sight of it makes his stomach roll, and he resists the wave of nausea that rises as he tries to think of what to do next, 

"What am I gonna do with you?" he asks aloud as he begins to carefully clean blood from around the wound on the side of Troy's temple. The wound itself is still bleeding a bit, but its nothing like it had been when he was first hit. The side of Troy’s face is covered in dried blood, most of which he manages to clean off, but his shirt and jacket are stoaked with it all down his left shoulder and side. 

Troy’s face just barely twitches as Nick pours rubbing alcohol straight over the wound, his best option for disinfecting it at the moment, but other than that, he doesn’t react as Nick carefully packs antibacterial ointment covered gauze over the gnarly, gaping gash that shows just a bit of a very obvious fracture. There was nothing that looked to Nick like brain matter visible, so he has that to be thankful for that at least. Maybe his mom hadn't hit Troy as hard as he previously thought. 

"I can't take you back to the bazaar, any of Proctors men that survived and headed back there will kill us on sight... I guess we could drive along the river until we find one of the colonies that they were saying sprung up... See if there are any people that can help us..." Nick muses as he spares one last look at his friend before closing the sliding door and climbing into the front seat of the van. 

"Sorry, man, I know Mexican's freak you out, but they're a lot closer than the border is. Probably a hell of a lot friendlier than anyone we might meet up there too..." he adds, glancing back at Troy in the rear-view mirror before fixing his eyes on the road and starting the engine.


	2. A Little Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So back when I originally wrote this I had asked my manager for help. She speaks some Spanish and had a few suggestions for names and such.

Not long after he starts driving, Nick begins to pass the few survivors from the dam that hadn't had the time or forethought to grab a vehicle when they fled. First, he sees Daniel, who turns and looks him in the eyes as he drives past. 

Then he sees the few dam workers who escaped execution to be used as slave labor. He pays them no mind, ignoring their pleas for him to stop in the belief that he’s one of them, and keeps driving. 

Troy let out a small gasp of pain when the van goes over a particularly bad bump in the cracked, dilapidated road, but otherwise remains silent on their drive in search of help. 

Nick isn't sure how long he drives for before he comes across people gathering water along the river. He stops by a large group and rolls down his window, thankful that the van was unmarked and that he abandoned that dam worker uniform he'd donned earlier in the day so no one will mistake him for one of the people who denied them water for so long. 

"Oy!" He calls out, getting the attention of more than a few people that weren’t already looking his way. "Um... Necesito.. un médico, por favor? A Doctor?" he asks carefully, hoping he isn't butchering the words too badly. 

A wizened old man with carrying red 5-gallon bucket that’s walking away from the river with a little girl that carries one of those cute plastic beach buckets points east of the river into the desert "That way," he says in a rough accent. 

"Gracias!" Nick calls back before turning the van and driving in the direction several people with buckets and jugs of water are walking. There’s a dirt road they’re following. Old and barely recognizable, but there nonetheless. 

He drives much slower than he’d care to, not wanting to hurt Troy or pop a tire in one of the potholes that litter the way. A few minutes later he sees where everyone is going. 

There's a large rocky outcropping sticking up at an angle from the desert floor that's shielding a vast area from the afternoon sun. The area that’s cast in shadow below it is full of a mix of roughly patched together shanties, old campers, and small huts. They surround a small clearing with a fairly old looking stone well at its center, and there appear to be several burned-out, crumbling husks of old houses scattered further out from there. 

It was a ghost town not long ago, but people have gathered in its place and it's alive again. It’s almost poetic, given the nature of the end of the world. 

Nick pulls up to the outer edge of the makeshift village and gets out of the van, looking around for anyone that he can ask for help. He spies a mixed group of old and young people gathered together, the lot of them being led by a beautiful Mexican woman that's maybe 10 years older than him. They’re walking in his direction, obviously going to the river with buckets and jugs in hand. 

He raises a hand and waves. "Hola! Necesito un Doctor? " he calls out. 

"Your Spanish is terrible," the woman leading the group replies in perfect Americanized English. "You look fine, why do you need a doctor?" She pauses a ways away from Nick, her sharp brown eyes looking him up and down suspiciously as she sets down her jug down and crosses her arms over her chest. The others with her stop when she does, but say nothing. 

She's tall, about an inch shorter than Nick, so maybe 5'10? Her long brown hair is tied back in a braid that comes to rest over her shoulders, and she has on well-worn jeans, work boots, and a soft-looking yellow floral blouse covered in what looks like tiny daisies. 

"My friend is hurt. We were attacked by the dam. He was hit in the head and he’s been unconscious for a few hours," Nick explains, opening the sliding side door of the van to reveal Troy's prone form where it lays in the back.

The woman breaks into a run when she seesTroy laying in back of the van, and she immediately starts checking him over when she reaches him. "Did he go unconscious right away, or did he pass out after a while?" She asks, as she pulls a small light from her pocket and clicks it on, checking Troy’s pupils with it quickly.

"He was hit twice with a hammer and went down after the second hit. I thought he was dead," Nick explains as he watches the woman check Troy's pupils, then his pulse. After that, she pressed her knuckles into his breastbone and twisted. Troy’s whole body jerks in response to that, and he let out a small, pained grunt.

"Who attacked him?" the woman asks as she carefully removes the bandage from the side of Troy's head and shines her light on the wound.

"Someone he thought we were safe with. What does it matter? Just please help him if you can," Nick pleads as he watches her place the bandage back over the wound. 

When she’s done she stands again and levels Nick with a stern look, putting her hands on her hips as she does so. It gives her an air of authority that makes Nick momentarily uncomfortable. 

"His skull is fractured. His pulse is weak, respirations shallow. He’s responding to external stimuli, so he's not brain dead, yet. I don’t have access to any real medical equipment here, so I have no way of knowing if there is any internal swelling or damage without cutting his skull open, which I do not want to do. Am I understood?" She says firmly. 

Nick nods his understanding. "Yes, totally, just help him, please. I'll do anything you ask me to, just please help him," he finds himself offering as the fear he had been holding back crashes into him full force. He can’t lose Troy. Not again. The thought of it makes a lump form in his throat and his chest feel tight like he can’t breathe.

At this point, several people from the group have gathered around to see what the fuss is about. Nick looks at them quickly before looking back to the woman that is obviously the doctor he had been looking for. "What's your name?" he asked suddenly realizing he has no idea who this woman is or what to call her. 

"Consuelo," She says before waving everyone back from the van to give them some room.

"I'm Nick, and my friend is Troy. Thank you, seriously," Nick says as he followed her movements and waits for her to tell him what to do next.

"You can thank me later, for now, get us over to my clinic. It's on the other side of the clearing," she orders, pointing to a decent-sized wood and metal structure that has a very obvious red cross painted sloppily on its door. 

Nick nods quickly and waits for her to climb into the back of the van with Troy before he closes the sliding door and hops back behind the wheel. 

They get Troy inside the clinic and laid out on a cot with the help of some of the people from the crowd that followed them. Consuelo shoos them away after that and tells Nick to stay back when he tries to hover behind her as she gets the supplies she needs gathered. 

She starts by cleaning Troy’s head wound more thoroughly than Nick had in his haste to get them away from the dam. Nick has to look away while she does, because god he’s seen a lot of gross stuff in the past few months, but it’s different when it’s someone you care about. 

When he finally looks back she’s started to carefully stitch closed the wound as best she can with what skin is left, before applying a thick layer of some kind of ointment that smells strongly of herbs.

Nick watches her bandage Troy’s head once she’s finished. She looks relieved as she does so, and it makes Nick’s nerves ease just a little.

"Now we wait," Consuelo finally says as she stands up and turns away to go wash the blood from her hands in a small basin of water that sits nearby. "He’s stable for the moment, but we need to monitor his temperature, pulse, and breathing. And we’ll have to test his reflexes every few hours to check for signs of brain death. Do you think you can handle that if I show you how?" she asks Nick without looking at him. 

He’s currently sitting in a rickety wooden chair beside Troy's cot. His whole body hunched forwards with his elbows resting on his knees, and his hands clasped in front of his face almost like a man lost in prayer.

Nick looks up from Troy's prone form to meet Consuelo’s gaze when she looks over her shoulder at him. "Yeah, I can do that," he agrees before looking back to his friend. "What kind of doctor were you, before all this?" 

"I was a trauma surgeon in the U.S. Army," she answers with an almost tired grin. 

Nick snorts a laugh at that. "No offense, but what are you doing in the middle of the Mexican desert then? I thought they mobilized the whole military or something like that when the dead started to rise up." 

"My parents were from a small town not too far from here. They moved back to Mexico after I graduated high school and joined the Army. When the order came and the world started to burn, I deserted my post and came out here to look for them," Consuelo confessed as she started to clean up and put away the supplies she had used to treat Troy.

"Did you find them?" Nick asks, sitting up straight and turning a bit to face her as she moves back and forth in the sparsely furnished room. There’s a few tables and what looks like the kitchen counter out of an RV along the back wall. Various boxes and bottles littering them. All full of medical supplies. And a total of half a dozen cots, Troy’s included.

"No," she says in a soft voice, shaking her head. "But I've been able to help a lot of people out here, so at least something good came of it." 

They fall into silence after that, the only real sounds coming from the soft shuffle of items as Consuelo continues to clean and organize the tables that house all of her supplies, and the soft sound of Troy's breathing, which was sound louder now than it had been when Nick first found him. 

The silence is broken a few minutes later by a knock on the door. A beat later a boy, maybe 14 years old, with a buzzcut and a crooked smile stuck his head in through the doorway. "Consuelo, do you want me to go get you some water since you're busy with a patient?" the boy asks, clearly trying to not be obvious that he just wanted to see the strangers that everyone is talking about. 

"If you don't mind? I need to stay here and monitor his vitals for a few hours," she asks, continuing to clean up without looking at the boy. 

Nick perks up at that. "I can drive you. There's enough room in my van for some barrels or buckets or whatever you guys have laying around to carry water in," he offers, looking from Consuelo to the boy and back again. 

The boy steps fully into the doorway then, a look of surprise then excitement flashing across his young face. "Really?" 

"Are you sure?" asks Consuelo, who stops her cleaning to turn and face Nick. 

"Yeah. You said Troy's stable at the moment, right?” he asks, waiting for her to nod an affirmative before he continues. "So, let me do this. I have the van and enough gas to make a few trips at least with no problem." 

After a brief pause, Consuelo nods again and looks from Nick to the boy in the doorway. "Jorge, will you show Nick where we keep the water barrels? Oh, and have Tomás go with you? It'll go a lot faster with another adult helping to move things along," she instructs with a wave of her hand in the direction of the door.

The boy, Jorge, nods before motioning for Nick to follow him. "Come on, I'll show you." 

With that, the two of them head out the door and around the back of the little makeshift clinic towards another large patchwork structure. It’s made mostly of metal siding and scrap wood, but it looks surprisingly sturdy. Inside was what appears to be a makeshift mess hall, full of mismatched tables and chairs. In the back, tucked away in a corner, were stacks of the kind of old metal water dispenser's sports teams used to use, as well as a few tall plastic barrels. 

"Tomás! We have a ride to go get water!" Jorge yells loudly as they enter the building. A moment later a man appears out from a small hidden away room in the back, just opposite where the barrels are kept. He’s in his mid-thirties, roughly 5’7”, with broad shoulders and short shaggy brown hair and a scruffy beard. 

"Who's this?" He asks, pointing to Nick.

Jorge looks to Nick and blinks owlishly, like he’s waiting for Nick to introduce himself, apparently having already forgotten the newcomer’s name. 

"Nick," Nick supplies, holding his hand out for the older man to shake. 

Tomás reaches out and shakes his hand easily, but eyes Nick like he’s wary of his presence. "What's this about a ride to get water?" He finally asks as he lets Nick's hand go. 

"I have a van," Nick clarifies, cutting off Jorge, who looks ready to jump into a full, longwinded explanation. "My friend was hurt and Consuelo is taking care of him. I figured taking some of your people to get water from the river was the least I could do to thank her for helping us out." 

Tomás snorts incredulously and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly amused by some part of Nick’s story. "There is no river anymore." 

"Didn't you hear the explosion earlier, Tomás?" Jorge cut in, utter disbelief clear in his voice. "Someone blew up the dam!" he informs the older man excitedly, practically bouncing on the spot as he throws his arms out wide for emphasis. 

Tomás' eyebrows shoot up in shock at the news, nearly disappearing under his bangs. "That's what all that racket was?" 

Nick nods as he sticks his hands in his pockets and tries not to give away how uncomfortable he is telling them this. "A group called the Proctor tried to take control of the dam. There was a fight and most of the Proctors and dam workers were killed." 

Tomás and Jorge both look at Nick with mixed expressions. Confusion clear along with something like amazement and surprise. 

"Were you there?" Jorge asks in awe. 

Nick nods hesitantly before speaking again. "My friend helped the workers set explosives to use as a bargaining chip against Proctor and his men. My mom was there, and he overheard what was about to go down while we were at El Bazar, so we went to get my mom out. But things went bad and my friend got hurt. I didn’t know what else to do and I ended up being the one to blow the dam..." Nick tells them slowly, gauging their reactions as he explains the day’s events. 

It feels weird. Like telling a story from a book or recounting the events from a movie and not something that happened to him personally not all that long ago.

“Alright… Well, then we owe you and your friend our thanks," Tomás finally says after a long, uncomfortable beat of silence passes between them. 

He claps a hand on Nick's shoulder then and offering the younger man a genuine smile. "We would all be dead in a few months if it weren't for what the two of you did this day. Now, let's get these barrels loaded into your van and go get that water for the people. You can tell us more about what happened on the way." 

Relieved, Nick agrees and they load as many barrels as they can fit into the van before heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was told Consuelo means comfort, hence I had to be a smartass and name the doctor that.   
> I ended up changing Tomas' age when I edited this. I originally had him in his mid-twenties. But reading through everything it felt more like I wrote him as someone in their thirties. So I made the little change here.


	3. Agua, Agua, Everywhere

Nick, Tomás, and Jorge make 5 trips in total to collect water for the village before the sun sets. It turns out a handful of the people living there were American, and about half of the village is made up of elderly couples that were helped to escape by their friends and neighbors. They all fled into the desert together when the government started to firebomb the cities. Most of the residents had known each other for years before this, so there weren’t really any issues that they all didn’t agree on here.

When Nick gets back to the little clinic he finds Troy hooked up to an old fashioned IV. The tubing and needle being used are clearly new, but instead of a bag of fluids like you would find in a modern hospital, there’s a large glass bottle with a strip of metal attached to a hook around it to keep it suspended. A small medical clamp on the tube restricting the flow out, keeping it going at a slowed, steady pace. He walks over, taking a closer look at the setup before turning to Consuelo, who is reading a book while sitting on another of the cots in the room.

"What are you giving him?" he asks her, giving the bottle a small flick for emphasis that makes it sway a little where it’s hung from a makeshift stand. 

"Homemade saline solution with a dose of Oxy dissolved into the mix for pain management," Consuelo explains as she closes her book and moves to stand. "There was a small clinic here, back when the town was first built over a hundred years ago. I found some of their supplies abandoned in the rubble and did a bit of tinkering to make them usable again. The bottle was easy enough to sterilize, and I have PH testing kits along with some other odds and ends that allow me to check that the solution is correct," she explains further before stretching and setting her book on the counter that houses her equipment. 

"That’s pretty badass," Nick says with a smile, looking Troy over now to see if there were any signs of improvement in the few hours he was away. 

Honestly, he looks like crap. His face has swelled up a bit on the left side, a bruise forming under the edges of the bandage to creep out and wrap around his eye. But he was still breathing, stronger than before, and that made Nick feel a little better. 

"Thanks," she replies with a tired smile. "Have you eaten?" 

"No, I figured I should get back to Troy and give you a break since you were kind enough to take care of him for me. Also, Tomás said to tell you dinner would be ready in 5 minutes," Nick tells her, lifting his arms over his head and arching his back in an attempt to stretch out some of the knots and aches that formed from lugging water all evening. 

Consuelo nods her understanding before stepping closer to Nick so they can see each other better in the light of the two lamps she has lit on either side of the room. "Taking care of people is my job, but that's sweet of you to offer. I'll send someone over with dinner for you in a bit. Sounds good?" 

Nick hums a yes and with that Consuelo pats him on the shoulder reassuringly before she turns and heads out of the clinic, the door closing behind her with a low creak. 

With a sigh, Nick sits down on the dusty floor beside Troy's cot, his back to the wall as he looks his friend over. After a moment he pulls his knees up to his chest and let his arms rest against them, hands coming up to run through his hair and rub at his face tiredly. 

Troy was breathing steadily, the rise and fall of his chest visible now unlike when he was found this afternoon. His skin was pale, not that Troy ever had much of a tan to begin with, so Nick figured that was normal; what with the blood loss and trauma he had been through. 

After a beat Nick finds himself reaching out a hand and placing it on Troy's shoulder. He can feel the warmth radiating off his body, the movement of his breathing as he lets his fingers dig into the fabric of Troy's shirt. Both his presence here and the mere fact that he was alive and might survive this grounds Nick in a way he can't explain. It makes him feel like he can finally breathe. 

Thinking back on it now, the whole day felt like some bizarre fever dream. If Nick had any idea as to how this day would have gone down, honestly, he would have found a way to stay at the Bazaar. Found a reason for Troy to not go off wandering on his own while he was out collecting dead heads. Begged him to forget Nick’s mom and let her handle Proctor on her own. 

Strand would have saved his mom and Alicia. He would have been the one to blow the dam if Nick hadn’t taken the detonator from him. No one else would have found out that Troy led the walkers to the ranch. 

The dam probably still would have blown, these people would have gotten the water they had been denied, and he wouldn’t be sitting here praying that if his family is still alive out there that they don't find them. 

He knows deep down that if his mom did show up, found out that Troy lived and that Nick picked saving him over looking for her... She would kill them. Troy and Nick both, because there was no way he wouldn’t get in her way if she tried to do it again. And he honestly isn’t so sure Troy would be who she went after first in that scenario…

That thought makes Nick’s heart ache painfully in his chest and his whole body feel cold. He always knew there was something about his mother that was dark, it was evident in the times that she would snap and hit him, but the look she had in her eyes when she tried to kill Troy... The look she gave him when she argued that Troy needed to be put down. When she said she never wished Nick dead... It scared him. Way more than he ever thought possible from her. 

Nick’s thoughts are interrupted by the door of the clinic creaking open. A moment later Jorge walks in carrying a tray with two plates of food and two bottles of water carefully balanced on it. "Hey," he greets, walking in and setting one plate and bottle down in the empty chair beside Nick. "How's your friend?" 

Nick eyes the plate of what appeared to be a hunk of bread, grits, some kind of meat covered in a brown sauce, and... "Is that cake?" Nick asks, picking up the tray and inspecting the contents up close. 

Jorge takes the opportunity to steal the now empty seat and gives Nick a big smile. "Tres leches. My grandmother made it to celebrate the river coming back," he explains before picking up his fork and digging into the contents of his own tray. 

"Cool... Thanks," Nick says before picking up his own fork and starting to pick at his own meal. He isn’t really hungry, but he hasn’t eaten since his mom told him to earlier at the dam and before that, it had been even longer since he had a real meal, so he knows his body needs this despite how he feels. 

After a few moments, Jorge speaks again repeating his unanswered question from before. "So, how's your friend doing?" 

Nick looks up from his meal to see Jorge looking Troy over, curiosity evident on his eyes. "I think he's doing a little better. Consuelo said we need to keep monitoring him. It's a waiting game for now." 

Jorge hums his understanding before stuffing another forkful of his dinner into his mouth, his eyes not leaving Troy's face the whole time. "I hope he wakes up soon, the rest of the village wants to thank you both for blowing up the dam." 

Nick nearly chokes on his grits hearing that. He coughs a few times before taking a drink of water from the bottle Jorge offers him, and he looks at Jorge after in disbelief. "The whole village knows? How?" 

"Tomás made an announcement at the start of dinner so everyone would stop gossiping about the two new guys in the clinic," Jorge explains with a shrug before letting his gaze drop from Troy back to his dinner. 

"Oh, is that all?" Nick says with a snort, poking at the mystery meat on his plate before finally stabbing a piece with his fork. 

"Nope," Jorge replies, obviously missing the sarcasm in Nick’s voice. "Some of the old folks are calling you guys 'Portadores de Agua' and talking about what they can do to show you both our appreciation," he adds with a loud laugh. "Like you guys are our own personal saints or something." 

"I have no idea what you said there aside from 'of water'," Nick notes, shaking his head before stuffing the mystery meat into his mouth. It was pork, and it’s not half bad. "But I'll assume it's something flattering," he added around a mouthful of bread a moment later. 

"Bringers of Water, basically. They aren't very creative," Jorge clarifies with a shrug. 

Nick huffs a small laugh at that. "Yeah, I'll say." 

Nick falls asleep not long after dinner, Jorge was rambling about what it's been like living here in the two months since the world ended, and he just dozed off somewhere in the middle of hearing how a few of Consuelo's army buddies came to Mexico with her because they didn't have families of their own to go back to and her parents had basically adopted them after boot camp.

He wakes up, head tilted to the right and resting on the corner of Troy's pillow, to find Consuelo wrapping a blanket around him. “Hey…” he mumbles tiredly, straightening up and rubbing at his eyes a bit before pushing the blanket down around himself. “How long have I been out?” 

“About an hour. Your friend is doing well. He hasn’t developed a fever or any signs of infection or brain swelling from what I can assess. It's early, but it's looking like he might make it through this,” she says before turning away to grab a new IV bottle to replace the now empty one that hangs above Troy's cot. 

“That’s good. Right?” Nick asks, looking from the doctor to Troy. He doesn’t look any better to Nick, but his breathing is still that slow steady rhythm that helps to ease his worries. 

“That’s very good considering the circumstances. He’s a strong kid,” She says reassuringly. She’s smiling, and once she finishes hooking up the new IV she pulls the blanket she covered Troy with up a little higher over his chest. 

Nick snorts at that. “He’s not a kid, but yeah, he’s strong alright.” He kind of gets why she would call Troy that. Despite the scruff, Troy looks younger when he’s totally zonked out without the weight of the world pressing down on him mentally.

Consuelo looks both Nick and Troy over appraisingly, like they were a puzzle she’s trying to figure out. “It’s late,” she says with a shake of her head. “If you want, you're welcome to sleep on one of the empty cots instead of on the floor. If you need me, I’m set up in the first hut to the left when you go outside.” 

Nick watches as Consuelo puts away the empty IV bottle, then picks up the lantern she had set on the chair beside Troy’s cot. With a wave goodnight, she headed out of the clinic to get some rest.

Now that they’re alone again, Nick turns his attention back to Troy. Like this, he really can see why someone would think Troy is a kid. There’s almost an innocent look to his face. Nick snorts at the thought. Troy was far from innocent. Not that he was one to talk. 

With a tired sigh, he slowly pushes himself up off the floor. He slings the blanket Consuelo gave him around his shoulders before grabbing hold of the vacant cot to his left and pulling it over so there’s just enough room between it and Troy’s cot to stand and move back and forth easily. The chair Jorge had sat in at dinner had been moved to the other side of the room while Nick was sleeping, so there’s nothing between the two of them but air when Nick finally lays down. 

At first, he tries laying on his back and counting the dust mote floating in the low light provided by the one remaining lamp in the room. It does nothing to help him clear his mind and fall back to sleep though. So after a while, he gives in to the urge and rolls onto his side to watch Troy’s chest rise and fall in the low light until his eyes finally become too heavy to keep open any longer and he drifts off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter wanting to showcase a bit of Nick's inner feelings that he himself hasn't quite realized yet. I think I managed to bring more of that out this time around.


	4. Things Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember I haaaated writing this chapter originally. I hate writing dialogue. I feel like I'm fucking horrible at it. I always try so hard to write in the voice of the character and sometimes it just doesn't sound right no matter what I do. I think I did a bit better with it this time around, though.

The next day, Nick wakes to the sound of Consuelo humming softly to herself as she goes about changing the dressing on Troy's head wound. After laying there just listening a moment, he gives in to the urge to stretch before attempting to get himself untangled from his blanket. "Morning," he says sleepily once he’s able to sit up. 

Consuelo looks over at him and smiles before looking back down at Troy. "Good morning. I brought you some breakfast,” she nods her head towards the one table that generally is kept empty. "Your friend is doing much better this morning." 

"Yeah? How can you tell?" Nick asks, looking Troy over before rubbing his own eyes. He’s still tired, nightmares of the day before waking him several times, and making him reach out and check that Troy was still alive and breathing every time. 

"His heartbeat is stronger than it was last night for starters. And his color is returning. His reflexes are stronger too." Consuelo explains as Nick gets up from the cot and goes to retrieve his breakfast.

"Seriously? That's great. Do you think he'll wake up any time soon?" Nick asks as he comes back to take a seat on his cot. His hopes are getting the best of him, he knows it, but he still has this feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach at the same time. And he still doesn’t really feel hungry, but he makes himself take a bite of scrambled eggs anyway. 

Consuelo shakes her head at the question. "I don't honestly know; head injuries are tricky. But the signs are good, so we have every reason to hope." 

Nick hums his understanding before continuing to slowly eat his breakfast. 

"When you're done eating you're welcome to go get washed up. There's a makeshift bathhouse out behind the mess hall. Oh, and Tomás found some clothes that should fit you, they're on the chair by the door along with a towel and some soap. Just leave your dirty clothes and the towel in the bathhouse when you're done, someone will wash and bring them back later," Consuelo tells him before pointing to the aforementioned articles of clothing resting by the door. 

"Thank you, I seriously appreciate all of this," Nick says in all honesty between bites of eggs. 

"We're the ones who should be thanking you. We would have had to abandon this place in a few weeks if it weren't for you two blowing up the dam." 

Nick winces and shakes his head at that. "If we hadn't then the others would have," he insists. 

"That may be true, but the fact of the matter is that it  _ was _ the two of you that did and not someone else. But that isn’t the only reason we’re grateful for you. Instead of sitting here and doing nothing while you wait for your friend to wake up, you offered to help us. It would have taken us days to gather the amount of water you did yesterday. So, let us show our appreciation for that, alright?" 

Nick feels a bit overwhelmed by her earnestness, and he ducks his head a bit in embarrassment. "Alright," he concedes before setting his now empty plate aside and moving to retrieve the clothes and other items he was offered. "I'll be quick." 

Consuelo huffs and waves a hand dismissively at him. "Take your time. Go for a walk or something after. I'll come and find you if anything changes with Troy,” she promises.

“Okay…” he agrees hesitantly before heading out the door and making his way towards where the bathhouse was supposed to be located. 

It’s still early, much earlier than Nick had realized when he woke up, as the sun is just barely over the horizon. 

It’s actually a bit cold out for the early hour, reminding Nick that it's Fall now and no longer summer. It's easy to lose track of time when the world ends and you don’t have access to a calendar every day. Hell, if Jorge hadn't said it had only been two months since the dead came back he would have thought it had been a lot longer. 

The bathhouse is a decent-sized, sturdy hut that was raised a few feet off the ground so they could access the runoff water from a tank underneath. Inside was a woodburning stove that held a massive metal bucket of already warmed water. On the floor, there rested a smaller bucket. And hanging on the wall was a series of buckets and pipes that connected to a jury-rigged shower head. Instead of a regular shower tap, there was what looked like a butterfly valve welded on to the pipes above to control the water flow. There’s also an antique claw-foot tub that looked like it had seen better days, a sink, a hamper for dirty clothes, and a mirror. 

Nick closes the door behind him and sets the clean pile of clothes in a chair beside the stove before filling the series buckets that feed the shower and stripping out of his dirty clothes. Once he gets the valve flipped open he quickly hops in and uses the bar of soap he was given to scrub away the dirt and sweat that he’s far too used to being covered in a way. The warm water feels amazing, and he wishes he had more time to savor it before the buckets run empty.

Once he’s clean and dressed again he decided to go for a walk like Consuelo suggested. See what kind of place this village really is. He saw a decent chunk of it when he was helping deliver water to the elderly residents yesterday, but he finds himself wanting to explore, see what they didn't let him see yesterday. 

Truth be told, the place was pretty impressive considering what the people here had to work with. There were a few dozen shacks, a row of campers that the older residents lived in, the mess hall, clinic, bathhouses (apparently there were four of them scattered about along with several outhouses near the back of the village). 

There was an area that appeared to be a farm, and even more surprisingly there were actually some sparse crops growing. Even with the lack of water they had to work with before this, they had been able to make food grow using filtered water from the showers. There was also a dilapidated barn that housed about a dozen chickens and a few pigs. They even had a few cows grazing on the mostly dead grass nearby. 

Nick wandered around for maybe half an hour before deciding he’d been gone long enough and making his way back to the clinic. 

A few buildings away he hears the sound of a vehicle coming to a stop in the distance, followed by the slam of two doors. 

As he got closer, he hears voices that made his steps falter and his heart rate quicken.

"I'm looking for my mom and brother. We were separated yesterday when the river flooded. My mom’s about my height, with blonde hair and brown eyes. And my brother is a few inches taller with scraggly brown hair and brown eyes." 

There was no doubt that was Alicia's voice 

"Their names are Madison and Nick. We don’t know if they’re separate or together, and they may have been in the company of an older Mexican gentleman with a particularly nasty wound to the face named Daniel?" 

And that was definitely Strand. 

Nick rounds the corner of the clinic to find them standing by the well. Tomás and a few other villagers are there as well. And behind them was one of the trucks Nick had raided at the dam the day before. 

Before anyone had a chance to respond, Alicia spotted Nick standing in the shadow of the clinic and she takes off running. "Nick!" She cries out as she throws herself at her brother. 

Nick stumbled back a step with the force of Alicia colliding with him, and he wraps his arms around her smaller frame, catching her. He can’t help himself, he holds her tightly, fearing she wasn't real for a moment. "I thought you were dead!" he says shakily, fighting the urge to cry from the relief that his little sister was safe. 

"I thought you were dead! The last thing I saw before the boat was drawn away by the river was the bridge crumbling beneath you," she cries into his shoulder, holding onto him just as tightly as he held her. 

"It didn't, I’m okay," he says, kissing his sister's forehead before looking from her to Strand. "What happened to you guys after I blew the dam? Where's mom?" He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was relieved she wasn’t with them. The mere thought scares the hell out of him.

Strand scratched at his beard, thinking as he watches the siblings tearful reunion. "Your mother had leaned over the side of the boat trying to get control of the engine, she fell in as we were being swept into the falls. Once the water slowed we were able to go up and down the river in search of the both of you. There was no sign of her, or you obviously." 

"How did you even find this place? It's kind of far from the river," he can’t help but ask, looking back and forth between Strand and Alicia. 

"I met a few of the villagers on my way to the dam for the first time. When we didn't find any sign of you or your mother, it made sense to find the village and see if anyone came across either of you while gathering water yesterday," Strand explains with a hint of a proud smile.

"Well, you found me," Nick says as he finally lets go of his sister and takes a step back. "But you might not want to stay when I tell you who I'm here with..." 

"What do you mean? Who are you with?" Alicia asks, concern clear in her voice as she looks around like she’s expecting someone else to come out from behind the buildings that surrounded them. 

"Troy. I'm here with Troy," Nick confesses, looking back and forth between Strand and Alicia, a hand coming up to scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. 

"But you told Proctor John that mom killed him," Alicia recalls, eyeing her brother incredulously. 

"I thought she did. I went back for his body when everyone was running away from the dam, I couldn't just leave him down there to be washed away by the river like the rest of you were. When I pulled him out I realized he was still alive. He's got a fractured skull and he's unconscious, but he's alive and I’m not abandoning him." 

Alicia studies nick a moment before suddenly hugging him again, catching him off guard. "I'm glad he’s alive.."

“You’re kidding,” Nick blurts in response.

Stepping back from him, Alicia levels Nick with a glare he’s only ever gotten when he’s really pissed her off. “I watched you try to kill yourself when you thought he was dead yesterday. If his being alive keeps you here I’ll find a way to deal with my own feelings towards the guy..”

Nick can’t find a response to that, and he just stares at her in shock a moment before Tomás breaks the silence.

"There should still be some food left if you two would like breakfast," Tomás offers, taking a step towards Nick and Alicia. 

"That’s mighty kind of you to offer, given that we're total strangers," Strand says politely, tucking his hands in his pants pockets as he studies the other man. 

"Nick has been a great help to us, if you're with him then you're welcome here," Tomás replies, gesturing towards the mess hall. "Come on, before Jorge gives the leftovers to the animals," he adds, clapping his hands together and walking ahead to show the newcomers the way. 

Both Strand and Alicia gave Nick questioning looks, to which he just smiles a bit awkwardly before he turns to follow the other man to the mess hall. 

"So you went back for Troy and when you found him alive you brought him here? What about Daniel? I saw him standing with you on the bridge," Alicia asks Nick as she comes to walk alongside him. 

"He's still out there somewhere unless the last of the Proctors or one of the dead got him," Nick guesses with a shrug. “I drove past him on the way here, but I didn't see him while I was helping the villagers collect water last night. I think he wandered off into the desert. Either that or he crossed the river somewhere between here and the dam," he further speculates, holding the door of the mess hall open for Alicia and Strand to follow Tomás inside.

Jorge is shuffling back and forth between the dining area and the back room, which, as it turns out, housed several wood-burning stoves that were scavenged from the old burned-out houses as well as an old tub that they used to wash dishes in. 

"Jorge, we have more guests, is there anything left from breakfast?" Tomás asked the boy, who stops in the middle of carrying a stack of plates to gawk at the newcomers. 

"Yeah, I brought everything outback," the kid says slowly while eyeing Strand and Alicia. 

"Jorge, this is my sister Alicia and our friend Strand. I told you about them yesterday, remember?” Nick says in way of introduction. 

Jorge blinks owlishly at them, then smiles that broad crooked smile of his. "Hi! It's nice to meet you!" he chirps enthusiastically, practically bouncing on the spot and shaking the stack of dishes in his arms. The kid has a lot of energy. "Have a seat, I'll go get you guys some food!" With that, he disappears into the backroom, his stack of dishes clattering along the way. 

Nick takes a seat at a nearby table and a moment later is joined by Tomás, Strand, and Alicia. 

"So," Tomás begins. "Nick told me what happened at the dam," he gives Strand a particularly unimpressed look as he says this. 

Strand looks to Nick, expression wary. "Is that so?" 

Nick simply shrugs. "I didn't see the point in hiding anything from him. To be fair, I thought you were all dead at the time." 

A moment later, Jorge walks out with two plates piled high with scrambled eggs and fresh bread. "Sorry it's not hot anymore," he apologizes as he sets the plates down in front of Strand and Alicia. 

Both assure him it’s fine and say their thanks regardless before digging in like they hadn't seen food in a week. 

"We have a few empty shacks if you folks are planning on sticking around with Nick while he waits for Troy to recover from his injuries. We can get you set up after you eat. I just have to ask that you do what you can to help out while you're here," Tomás explains as he leans back in his chair, watching Strand and Alicia carefully. Gauging what kind of people they are from their reactions. 

"What do you need help with?" Alicia asks before accepting a glass of water from Jorge, who ran off to fetch her and Strand each one after giving them their breakfast.

"We have a small farm that could use some attention. If that's not to your liking we need help boiling water so it's safe to store and drink. There's also laundry duty, kitchen duty, and patrolling for the dead. Isaac, Tyler, and Jeff are usually the ones to cover patrol, but they’re on a supply run at the moment. They should be back soon, though." 

"Those are Consuelo's army buddies, right?" Nick chimes in. Jorge had told him about them last night before he passed out.

Tomás nods at that. "They are. The lot of them stole a Hummer from their unit's outpost when they came to look for Consuelo's parents. It's the only vehicle in the village that still works, so they use it to do a wide sweep of the area around the village every hour or so. Times like now we just have people posted around the outer edges of the village with binoculars and rifles..." 

"Fascinating," Strand says before clearing his throat. "Well, I'm not usually one for manual labor, but I suppose I could take a crack at farming for now." 

Nick raised a brow in question at that, because that just sounds so unlike the Victor he knows.

Strand raises a brow of his own in turn and smiles before going back to eating his breakfast. 

This was certainly not the turn of events Nick had been hoping for today, but he was happy with it nonetheless. And the day’s only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this time around we're really getting a sense of Nick's struggles with everything that's gone down. He's still trying to avoid his feelings, but he's definitely showing a lot more than he had in the previous version. I'm really happy with how this turned out.


	5. Don't Over Think It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back when I went to write the original version of this chapter I had just gotten ahold of a copy of Catcher In The Rye at a rummage sale. I like throwing things from my real life into what I'm writing, so that makes an appearance only because I thought it would be hilarious. Also, I really struggled initially with the conversations in this chapter. I think they turned out much better this time around.

After breakfast, Tomás takes Alicia and Strand to show them around and to pick out their very own shacks to fix up and live in for the duration of their stay. 

Nick chose then to excuse himself. He wanted to go check on Troy and have some time to process that his sister is actually –glad- that Troy is alive. Troy, who is a big part of the reason her boyfriend died. The hell? 

Because let's face it, Troy was the one who led the herd to the ranch, and the one to warn them so Jake and Nick would come looking. The look on Alicia's face when they pulled her out of the pantry bunker was clear as day. She knew that losing Jake was somehow Troy's fault without it being said. 

In the end, Nick had been the one that couldn't let Jake pull the trigger, though. He was the one who hit Jake with the butt of his gun and sent him falling down towards the herd of walkers. Thinking back on it, he was just as at fault as Troy. 

Nick shakes his head, trying to end that train of thought as he enters the clinic and looks around. Consuelo is standing at her seemingly designated work table, mixing up what appeared to be another batch of saline solution. "Hey," Nick greets before moving to go sit beside Troy’s cot. 

"Hey, any idea what all the ruckus going on early was about?" She asks, not bothering to look up from her work. 

"My sister and our friend survived the dam exploding. They showed up looking for me and our mom. Tomás is showing them around the village and helping them find a place to stay," Nick explains as he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back over his head the way he usually likes it but can’t quite maintain after it’s freshly washed.

"That's great!" Consuelo exclaims, turning to acknowledge him at last with a big smile. A beat later her smile drops. "You don't look very happy for someone who just found out their family is alive. Everything alright?" She asks, walking over and taking a seat beside Nick on his cot. 

He glanced up at her from his position hunched over with his elbows on his knees before looking back to Troy. In the time he was gone Troy had been cleaned up, the dirt and remaining blood smudged on his face were gone. And his dirty, blood-stained clothes were replaced with a soft-looking gray t-shirt and a pair of dark navy sweatpants. "I am happy. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around something my sister said. It's not that big a deal," he says dismissively, waving a hand before folding them and letting his chin rest on top. 

"Good something, or bad something?" she asks, leaning back a bit so she can better study Nick's expression. 

"Good something, or, at least I think it's good... She said she was glad that Troy was alive. She's never exactly been a member of the Troy Otto fan club, too much bad shit’s gone down between them for that to ever happen..." 

"Sounds to me like your sister is just happy that you're safe and you didn't lose someone that clearly means a lot to you. In this world, we're all each other's got now. Because of that, those bonds carry a lot more meaning than they did before.” 

Nick closed his eyes and thinks on her words. "I guess," he concedes after a while. 

"Don't overthink it, just be happy you have some of the people you care about back in your life," she says before patting Nick on the shoulder and moving to get up and go back to her work. "I need to go take care of some of the older residents. If you're planning on staying here I have some books in the cabinet that we scavenged from a library, you're welcome to any of them." 

Nick hummed and nodded. "Alright, thanks." 

"No problem. I'll be back in an hour or two. More likely two if Mrs. Rodriguez is awake. That woman talks so much you'd think she didn't need to stop and breathe," Consuelo says with a laugh. 

"Have fun with that," Nick says with a wave goodbye as he watched the doctor pick up a dusty looking army backpack and head out the door. 

Once they’re alone Nick shifts his focus back to Troy. He looks peaceful, his whole body relaxed in his unconscious state. He wished he could feel even half as at peace as Troy looks at this moment. To be completely honest, right now what he wanted more than that was to get high and escape everything weighing his mind down.

He’s starting to itch. Starting to feel withdrawals set in even though it had only been one night of getting high after a long stretch of sobriety. He knows this is the worst time to be selfish and bust into the Oxy's that he had wrapped up in the pocket of his jacket. He needs to keep a clear head right now, needs to be here for Troy. 

So with that in mind, he gets up and raids Consuelo's collection of books. A few books into the stack he finds a copy of Catcher in the Rye; because the universe has a twisted sense of humor. 

He picks it up with a shake of his head and takes up his previous spot from the night before on the floor beside Troy's cot. He pulls his knees up and lets the book rest against them as he begins to read. 

A few chapters in, the door creaks open. Figuring Consuelo got done early, he continues to read, until a pair of legs come to stand before him that are definitely not belonging to the doctor. 

"Interesting choice of reading material." Strand comments as he takes a seat on Nick's cot. 

"It was this or Twilight. Personally, I'll take the mental patient rambling about wanting to save children from growing up over abusive sparkly vampires and a girl with a damsel in distress complex any day." Nick quipped dryly, flipping the page as he spoke. 

Strand chuckles softly at that before asking. "How is he?" 

Nick glances up at Strand before closing his book and turning his gaze to Troy. "Good, all things considered. The doctor says he's showing signs of improvement. Hopefully, he'll wake up soon," he says while crossing his arms over his knees and letting his chin rest on his bicep while he continues to stare. 

"And then what?" Strand asks. "When he wakes up, what do you plan to do?" 

"Honestly, I don't know... Whatever he wants to, I guess..." Nick said, letting his mind wander to what kind of things Troy might want once he's well enough to travel. 

"Mmm... I know that look," Strand says after a long moment of watching Nick watch Troy silently, his tone oddly warm, almost fond even. 

Nick turns his head to look up at the older man, raising a brow in question. "What look?" 

One corner of Strand’s mouth quirked up into a smile. "You're looking at him the way Tom would look at me. The look of a man in love." 

Nick snorts a laugh at that and shakes his head. "I feel a lot of things for Troy, but I wouldn't go so far as to say love was one of them." 

"Trust me, you're in love. A man doesn’t do the things you've done for another person if there isn't love there. Every other part of you knows it, your mind just hasn't caught on to what your heart is trying to say," Strand says sagely, tapping his temple with two fingers before moving to stand. "You just ruminate on that a bit," With that, he turns on his heel and leaves the clinic without another word. 

Nick watches him go, eyes staying on the door long after it’s been closed, mind reeling. 

Was he in love with Troy? 

Sure, he cares about him. They were friends. They cared about each other in their own selfish twisted way... But there was that moment in the herd outside of the Bazaar, when he had started to panic and Troy grabbed him. He thought he was going to cover his mouth, tell him to be quiet or to shut up even... But no... He Had pulled him into a hug and held him. Shushed him and whispered that it was going to be alright... And he felt safer than he ever has with another person in his life... 

_ "You stayed at the ranch because you love me." _

Those words ring out loud and clear in Nick’s mind. When Troy said them he had found himself smiling like an idiot, but not denying it like he meant to. 

Nick lets his gaze slowly drift away from the door and back to Troy, his heart clenching as he takes in the prone, helpless form of him. Suddenly, the feelings he’s been unable to put a name to make sense, and reality slams into him like a car hitting a brick wall.

"Shit..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I both love and hate writing for Strand. He's got such a way of speaking and carrying himself that I equally loathe and adore.


	6. En Memoria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to note in advance that I both love and hate this chapter. But I seriously hope you all enjoy it and feel free to take a look at my notes on the bottom when you're done.

Nick hadn't so much as moved a muscle when Alicia wandered into the clinic almost an hour later. 

"There you are," she says when she looks to her left and spots Nick sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms folded atop them in his little space between the two cots. 

"Everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost," she asks as she steps into the clinic and closes the door behind her. 

"I think I'm in love with Troy," Nick blurts out, looking up at his sister with wide eyes. 

"Yeah..." Alicia says slowly. "I thought you had that figured out a while ago..." After a moment’s hesitation, she comes to sit on the empty cot near Nick. 

"Yeah, not really something that ever crossed my mind as a possibility with everything we’ve been through in the last couple of weeks," Nick mumbles, voice barely audible, before letting his head drop so his forehead rests on his crossed arms. 

"Well, if it helps, he's in love with you too," Alicia supplies, ducking her head down to try and look at Nick's face where he has it buried in his arms. 

Nick huffs a laugh at that, lifting his head enough to make eye contact with his sister. "What makes you so sure of that?" 

"The major case of heart-eyes he gets whenever you're not looking, for starters. After Luciana left and you joined the Militia he started to look at you differently. You looked at him differently too. And then with what happened with the shoot-out and everything, I figured you had to know. I mean, why else would you do everything you've done for him?" Alicia explains carefully, looking to Troy now and reaching out to gently brush his bangs away from the unbandaged part of his forehead. 

Nick watches her, his eyes drifting to the ugly heart-shaped tattoo on her forearm. The remainder of her last good memory with Matt "What if you're wrong," he mutters, not trusting his own voice to speak any louder without breaking. 

"I'm not. You may be older, but I have more experience with love then you do," she says simply before placing a hand on Nick’s shoulder, making him really look up at her. "It's going to be alright, Nick. He'll wake up and the two of you can figure this out together." 

With a sigh, Nick twists on the spot so his back is to his cot now rather than the wall. He lets himself lean into Alicia’s leg, his head coming to rest on her knee. "I hope so." 

"I know so," she assures him as she starts to run her fingers through his hair. It’s getting long again. Ends twisting together a bit. He always used to make their mom wait as long as possible before making him get a haircut so that Alicia could play with his hair if she wanted. Even now it’s something stupidly simple that instantly relaxes them both. 

"Hey, how come you're being so nice about all this? I thought for sure you'd be next in line to get on the "Kill Troy Otto" train. Especially after what happened at the ranch?" Nick asks warily, keeping his head against his sister's knee. He wants to look up at her, but a small part of him is afraid of what he will see in her face if he does. After all, they both know Troy was at least partially responsible for Jake dying, but only he knew that it was his fault as well. 

"I did want him dead, for a little while. But as much as I wanted that, I don't want to lose you if that’s the cost." 

Nick finally looks up at her when she says that. Her expression sad as she looks back down at her big brother. 

"Seeing you on the bridge of the dam like that... The way you had just given up so completely... I don't ever want to see you like that again, Nick. If his being alive is what keeps you here, then I’ll learn to be okay with it.”

Swallowing hard, Nick nods his understanding, because it's all he can bring himself to do. His eyes sting with unshed tears, and when he can’t stand it any longer he lets his head rest on her leg once again and lets them fall.

The two of them stay like that for a while. Alicia stroking Nick's hair and Nick resting with his head against her knee as he continues to think on his sister's words and his own feelings. Both watching over Troy in silence. 

"Strand and I are going to take a group to check out the dam in a while, see what we can scavenge. You wanna come with us? Get out of here for a while?" she asks eventually, breaking the spell of comfortable silence that had enveloped them. 

Nick lifts his head from where it’s been resting and shakes it as he wipes at the dried tear tracks on his face. "No. I want to stay here. Consuelo isn't back yet and I don't want him to wake up alone." 

"Alright, then. I’m going to find Strand and figure out when we’re leaving. I’ll be back in a few hours," Alicia says before standing and walking towards the door. 

"Be careful," Nick calls after her. 

"I will," she promised before leaving him alone with his thoughts. 

With a heavy sigh, Nick picks up his abandoned book from the floor and begins to read again. It wasn't even noon yet and he felt like he'd lived a lifetime in this one morning. 

~~~~~

Eventually, Consuelo comes back, giving Nick a small wave in greeting before going back to working with different herbs, odds, and ends on her table of medical wonders. She works until lunchtime, leaving and returning with bowls of soup for the both of them. Nick tells her that there’s been no change in Troy from what he’s seen, and after they eat he goes back to reading in silence and Consuelo returns to working at her table. 

Nick almost missed it at first. 

There’s a slight change in Troy's breathing. The soft creak of the cot as it shifts minutely under him. 

Nick looks up to see Troy's left hand lifting off the cot, coming to touch at the bandage on his head slowly as a low groan of pain escapes him. 

"Consuelo!" Nick shouts the doctor’s name, scrambling to get onto his knees beside his friend’s bed. "Troy! Hey, Troy!" Nick says quickly, grabbing hold of Troy's wrist and hand, keeping him from prodding any further at the bandaged wound on his temple. 

Troy lets out a groan of protest at the sudden noise beside him and tries to pull away from Nick’s grasp weakly, but doesn't open his eyes. 

In a flash, Consuelo is at Troy's other side, her little flashlight in hand as she kneels to take a look at the disoriented man. "Troy, can you hear me?" she asks in a much calmer tone than Nick had used a moment before. She puts a hand on his shoulder when he moves like he’s going to try and sit up, holding him in place. 

After a moment Troy's eyes finally flutter open, and he blinks unfocused eyes a few times before looking to his left. He blinks again as he stares at Nick, then he turns his gaze to the woman holding him down gently. "Yeah, I hear you..." he rasps out. "What's going on..?" 

"Troy, my name is Consuelo Rosa. I'm a U.S. Army Doctor. You suffered a blow to the head which fractured your skull and you've been unconscious for about a day. Do you think you can answer a couple of questions for me?" she asks slowly while first checking his ears with her little flashlight. 

Troy gives a small nod that makes him wince, and she continues. "Can you tell me your full name, age, date of birth, and the last thing you remember?" Consuelo asks slowly as she shines her little light in Troy's eyes now to check the response of his pupils. 

Troy winces and recoils slightly at the brightness of the light, then speaks after looking to Nick, who nods in encouragement. "My name is Troy Samuel Otto, I'm 22, my birthday is August 24th of 1988," he says, swallowing thickly before continuing. "The, uh... the last thing I remember is driving with Nick out to the dam..." he trails off there, face scrunching in confusion as he tries to remember more. 

"You don't remember being attacked?" She asks, finally helping Troy to sit up with Nick’s help once she’s certain it shouldn’t do much harm. 

"No... I... Uh... I remember pulling up to the dam, and that’s where it goes fuzzy..." Troy elaborates, looking around the room slowly, taking in his surroundings. 

"Is that bad? Not remember what happened is bad, right?" Nick asks Consuelo, who produces a stethoscope from under the little table beside Troy's cot and was now listening to Troy's heart and lungs. 

"Retrograde amnesia is common after head trauma. He should remember eventually. The important thing now is to take it easy and continue to monitor him. That means being on bed rest for the next few days before trying to do anything bigger than taking a walk across the room," she says as she removes the stethoscope from her ears and turns to grab a glass of water for Troy. 

The blond takes the offered glass with his free hand, Consuelo helping to steady it, and he takes a few small sips before downing the rest of the contents greedily. 

Nick nods along with Consuelo's instructions, finally releasing his hold on Troy's hand when the other man looks down and wiggles his fingers a little in Nick's grasp. Nick looks down at their hands as he lets go. When he looks up Troy just blinked at him a bit owlishly. "I'll make sure he doesn't push himself too hard," he promises the doctor, pointedly looking at her and not Troy as his stomach does a strange little flip and he feels his face heat a little from embarrassment. 

"Troy, if I go get you some food do you think you'll be able to keep it down?" Consuelo asks, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder to draw his attention away from Nick. 

"Yeah," he says before looking away from the doctor and back to Nick again. 

"Alright, I'll go see if there's any soup left from lunch. I’ll be back in a little bit," she offers before leaving to do just that.

Nick clears his throat awkwardly once it’s just the two of them. "So, you really don't remember what happened after we got to the dam?" he asks almost sheepishly, wondering if maybe Troy lied because he didn't trust Consuelo. 

A small frown forms on Troy's face at the question. "I remember pulling up to the dam and getting out of the jeep... Then waking up just now. Shit’s all messed up in here,” he says while bringing a hand up to rub at the uninjured side of his head. “What the hell happened, Nick. Where is everyone?" 

"Alicia and Strand are here. Strand sold the dam out to the Proctors. Everything went sideways when we were trying to escape and I had to blow up the dam to give everyone else a chance to get away," he explains as best he can, dancing around the subject of his mom and where she is now. 

"What about Madison? Where is she?" Troy asks without missing a beat, blue eyes searching over Nick's face as he speaks. 

"I don't know,” Nick says in all honesty. “Strand said she fell out of the boat when the dam blew and the river opened up. They searched for her, but there wasn’t any sign she made it out alive," he lets his gaze drop to where his hands are resting on the edge of Troy's cot as he speaks, feeling suddenly anxious under the other man’s gaze. 

"Okaaay, well… Now that I'm awake and clearly not dying, you can go look for her," Troy says with a small nod before wincing and letting out a small gasp of pain. He brings a hand up to touch the bandage next to his eye carefully then. "Okay, seriously, what hit me? Please tell me you killed whoever did this because it fucking hurts worse than anything I’ve ever felt..." 

Nick finds himself just staring blankly up at Troy, not sure how to answer. 

"Come on, Nicky, just tell me," he says with a soft chuckle. "It can't have been all that bad." 

"It was my mom. She hit you with a hammer," Nick admits in a rush. Fear and anxiety filling him and making his heart begin to race. 

"What? Why the hell would she do that?" Troy asks, eyes going wide with shock. His face almost perfectly mirroring the look he gave Madison when she landed the first blow to the side of his head. 

"She just snapped, man! The two of you had gone off together to set up these explosives as a last resort for dealing with Proctor and his men. And then Daniel cornered me and tried to get me to blame you for Ofelia's death. When I wouldn’t tell him what he wanted he finally let me go and I went to tell you and mom that we had to get out of there before it was too late. She said something about Daniel and when I said we had to avoid him she asked why and that’s when she found out what happened with the horde and then she just snapped! She blamed you for everything that happened with Travis and me and Alicia and she just lost it. The two of you were standing on the other side of this room full of dirt, I wasn’t close enough. She hit you, and you fell to your knees and you just... You gave her this look, like the look you're giving me right now. Like you couldn't believe what she had just done." Nick’s resolve crumbles under the look Troy is giving him. He continues to ramble, his voice growing shaky with his growing emotions. 

"I moved to try and stop her, but she just swung and hit you again before I could take another step and you fell. You fell and rolled down into this ditch and I thought you were dead." Nick's eyes go unfocused as he remembers what happened. Tears welling up in them as his gaze drifts down to his hands, but he doesn’t notice, all he can see is his mom holding that bloody hammer and Troy laying in that ditch. 

"The next thing I knew we were locked in a room together hiding from the Proctors while Strand tried to find a way for us to get out. And she... She tried to justify killing you to me... And-and I just couldn't... You didn't deserve that... I asked her where it stops. If she’ll kill you like it’s nothing then who else was she willing to kill like that? And she said I was lucky to be alive to ask. Like  _ you _ could have killed me or something. She tried to say she wouldn't do the same to me, that she never wished I was dead... But the look in her eyes... she was lying, Troy… She was lying about everything. So when I got the chance I stole the detonator and I made Proctor have his men let her and Alicia and Strand go and I blew the dam." Nick manages to make himself look up from his hands to find Troy still looking at him, but his expression has shifted to something Nick can't read. 

The next thing he knew, Troy was wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a hug, just like he had that night with the herd of walkers outside of the Bazaar. 

"What happened after you blew the dam..." Troy asks, voice soft beside Nick's ear. The same tone he spoke to Nick in when he held him like this before.

Nick blinks a few times, forcing the tears to clear from his vision. Trying to understand how Troy could be so calm right now. 

Slowly, he lets his arms come up to wrap around Troy's shoulders, holding him tight for fear this wasn’t real. It takes him a bit, but he manages to force himself to speak again. "The boat they were using to escape got sucked away by the water and... And after everyone was gone I went back for you... I couldn't leave you in the rubble to be washed away by the river. Not after what she did… I would never leave you like that, I-... I got halfway out of the dam before I realized you were still alive. I got you into one of the unmarked vans from the dam, and I just drove until I found help..." 

Troy huffs a small laugh at that. "I knew you loved me." His voice is warm. Caring in a way that Nick doesn’t think he’s ever heard from anyone else in his life. Not even from Gloria. And she said she loved him all the time...

Nick tightens his arms around Troy, letting his face tuck into the crook of the slightly taller man's neck before he speaks again. Taking a deep breath to steady himself he says "Yeah, well, you love me too. So I guess we're stuck with each other now aren’t we," his voice just loud enough for Troy to hear. 

Nick can’t see it, but Troy smiles into Nick's shoulder at those words. "Yeah, I guess we are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the deal. Originally when I wrote this I really loved this chapter. I loved Nick and Alicia having this really nice caring sibling moment because it's something I have never had with any of my siblings. Even when we were fairly close we didn't show each other how much we cared like they do here.  
> This time around I kind of hated it. I hate writing for Alicia. And it has nothing to do with her character personally, it's for personal reasons involving someone else that was part of the fandom that I used to be friends with.  
> So, this time around was a bit of a struggle, but I think it turned out for the best.  
> And I seriously fucking LOVED working on Nick's confession scene. Gives me the warm fuzzies every fucking time.


	7. Make Your Choices Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely one of those chapters that I wrote while drawing on a little personal experience.   
> Also, I get my medical knowledge from ER, Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy and google. So take nothing I say medically in this story seriously, please.

Consuelo returns maybe 10 minutes later with a hot bowl of soup. Nick and Troy are no longer hugging when she walks in on them, though Troy had scooted over on the small cot to make room for Nick to sit beside him as he read from his book. Troy has his head tipped back, resting it against the wall behind it. His eyes were closed, as he said his head was killing him and that light and sound made it hurt worse. 

"Everything alright?" Consuelo asks as she comes over and places the tray she used to carry the bowl of soup gently on Troy's lap. 

Troy opens his eyes and gives the doctor a small, slightly pained smile. "Head just hurts," he says simply before leaning away from the wall and looking down at the food before him. He eyes it a moment before picking up the spoon to stir the contents of the bowl a bit. 

"Your IV has something in it for the pain, but I can give you something stronger now that you're awake. On a scale of one to ten how bad would you say it hurts?" Consuelo asks while turning to go dig through the basket of pill bottles that sat on the corner of her work table. 

"Um... A five I guess... Maybe a six..." Troy says with a shrug before taste-testing a spoonful of soup. He lets out a little surprised hum before setting the spoon down and watching Consuelo’s movements. 

"Alright. Think you can swallow a pill?" Consuelo asks when she finds the bottle she was looking for. She takes out a single pill before coming back over holding it out for him to take. It looks suspiciously like the pills Nick had at the Bazaar. White and not much bigger than a dime in size.

Troy eyes the pill suspiciously before glancing at Nick. "What is it?" he asks, looking back to Consuelo and taking it along with the water Nick grabbed for him. 

"Percocet. Oxycodone. It's what's in your IV, just a more concentrated dose. It should start to kick in after about 15 minutes or so. You'll probably feel drowsy after that," she explains, looking back and forth between Nick and Troy like she was trying to decode out why Troy would look to Nick before accepting it. 

Nick gently bumped Troy's shoulder with his own. "It's okay. Taking it when you're hurt is different," Nick assured him. "You might get a little loopy but that's it. No chance of freaking out this way. Besides, I'll be here the whole time if you're worried." 

Consuelo raises a brow in question at both of them and crosses her arms over her chest before asking. "Is there something I should know?" 

"I sort of persuaded Troy to get high on Oxy with me a few days ago at the Bazaar. He didn't really enjoy it," Nick explains, giving Troy a sympathetic look. 

"Troy, would you rather take something weaker? I have some prescription-strength tylenol that’s mixed with codeine. It'll still take the edge off the pain you’re feeling and probably make you a bit sleepy, but it’s much weaker than percocet its not a narcotic," Consuelo explains while holding her hand out for Troy to give back the pill if he wants to. 

Troy blinks up at her before shaking his head slightly. "No, this is fine. Thank you, ma'am," he says before popping the pill in his mouth and taking it with the whole glass of water. When he’s finished he hands back the now empty cup to Nick and turns his attention back to eating his soup. 

"You're welcome,” she says while eying him a bit warily. “Let me know if you don't feel any better after a while or if you start to feel worse, alright?" she instructs while glancing from the two over to the table she keeps the majority of her medication on. 

Troy hums his understanding and continues to eat his soup slowly. 

"Nick, can I speak to you outside please?" Consuelo asks a moment later, hands going to her hips in that way that they do when she’s slipping into a sort of authoritative military persona.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he agrees almost hesitantly before setting his book down and moving to stand and follow her out of the clinic. 

Consuelo holds the door open, letting Nick step out ahead of her before following him. Once they’re outside she turns and gives him a stern look as she steps closer than Nick feels entirely comfortable with. "Are we going to have a problem here? Because I don’t need to be worrying about you stealing from the clinic on top of everything else. We have a limited supply of medicine. Painkillers and antibiotics are going to get harder and harder to come by, and while I'm more than willing to give Troy whatever he needs while he recovers, I will throw you out of my clinic in a heartbeat if I have to." 

"What? No, I won't touch your meds, I promise!" Nick swears, taking a half step back and throwing his hands up in surrender. "I can admit that I'm a junkie, but we're all good here. I'm not going to risk messing with Troy's recovery just to get a fix. I swear. He means more to me than that." 

Consuelo looks him up and down, trying to gauge if his words hold any value. "I know exactly what I have for pills. If I so much as find a bottle out of place, you're out of the clinic. Am I understood?" 

Nick nods his head quickly in agreement. "Understood. I won't mess with your supplies. I swear. You have my word." 

"Alright, good," she says with a quick nod of her own. "I'm going to go tell Tomás and the others that Troy is awake. Maybe see if anyone would be willing to fix up one of the empty shacks for when he's well enough to move out of the clinic." 

"You don't have to. I can do that," Nick says stuffing his hands in his pants pockets looking down at his feet. "I know everyone is grateful to us for blowing the dam, but really, you don't have to do everything for us. Let me do something to help." 

Consuelo just shakes her head at him, her posture relaxing. "Just tend to your boyfriend, Nick. For now, let us take care of the rest," she says, raising a single eyebrow as if daring him to challenge her. 

Nick just blinks at her, his head tilting a little to the side as he narrows his eyes. "Fine. But I will find a way to help out around here once he's better." 

Consuelo laughs softly and pats him on the arm before turning to walk away. "Fine by me." 

He watches her walk away, and once she’s disappeared around the corner he turns to walk back into the clinic. 

"So, I'm your boyfriend now, am I?" Troy asks in a questioning yet amused tone once Nick is back inside. His bowl of soup is set aside now, empty, and he’s holding up Nick’s copy of Catcher in the Rye, squinting at the back cover as he reads the synopsis.

"I mean, if you want to be..." Nick says slowly, not sure what else to say really. "I would understand if you don't want to, though," he continues as he walks over and comes to sit on the vacant cot beside Troy's. 

"I'm not so easy to get rid of, Nicky. Thought you knew that about me by now," Troy says mirthfully as he tossed the book at Nick, who just barely catches it after it bounced off his chest. 

"Yeah, well, If I'm totally honest I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around all of this," Nick confesses, eyes fixed on the book in his hands rather than on Troy. The cover has a red carousel horse on it that looks kind of messed up.

"Yeah? What part are you having trouble locking down?" Troy asks, slouching down in his cot a bit. 

"You're in love with me." He can’t keep the disbelief out of his voice. It’s just so surreal. 

Troy snorts a laugh at that and gives Nick a look like he’s just said something endearing and not questioned Troy’s feelings. "Yeah. And?" 

"And, you never really struck me as someone who swung that way," Nick retorts flatly before looking up to meet Troy’s amused gaze. 

"You never struck me as someone who would stand up to his mother. Looks like we're both full of surprises," Troy counters with a slightly dopey smile that makes Nick think the Oxy must be starting to kick in already.

"Ouch, man. I've stood up to my mom before," Nick defended halfheartedly. He knows what Troy really means by the statement, but it still stings a bit. 

"Maybe, but not when it carried so much weight," Troy points out, nodding sagely after. 

"You're being far too analytical for someone who just woke up from a coma," Nick states after a beat of silence. 

Troy full-on chuckles at that, sliding down the rest of the way into the cot so his head rests on his pillow and his feet stick off the end where his body is just too long for the frame. "I had a speech prepared," he tells Nick wistfully. 

"A speech? Really?" Nick asks a bit incredulously while leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees. The Oxy was definitely hitting Troy now. It’s kind of funny to see after how freaked he was the night Nick made him get high. 

"Yeah," Troy says with a smile up at Nick, his blue eyes sparkling a little. "I was going to tell Madison that I got right with everything that happened since you all came to the ranch. I was gonna ask if we were good, and I was gonna tell her I thought of you all as my family. You think I told her that?" Troy muses as he tries to get more comfortable. He even tries to turn his head all the way to the left, but the second his bandaged temple touches the pillow he winces and settles for only having it slightly turned to face Nick. 

"I don't know. You guys were alone together for a while, it's possible," Nick guesses as he reaches over and starts to pull Troy’s blanket up to cover him from where it had been pushed down around his waist while he ate earlier. 

"I hope I did," Troy laments as his eyes slip closed. "Hope I told her I love you, too..." 

"Get some sleep, Troy, you're rambling." Nick tries, and fails, to keep the fondness out of his voice as he tucks Troy in. 

"M'not tired. Tell me something?" Troy asks, voice making the lie of not being tired all the more obvious. 

"What do you want to know?" Nick asks as he sits back on the edge of his own cot. 

"Why me?" Troy asks, voice coming out sounding surprisingly small. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Why'd you pick me over Madison?" 

Nick blinks down at Troy, not sure how to answer at first. It takes him a long moment to find one, and Troy waits patiently for his response. "I'm not going to stay with someone that claims to love me then turns around and lies about never wishing I was dead in the same breath. What’s to stop her from killing me when I do something she doesn’t like and she thinks I’ve gone too far?" 

Troy snorts as he wiggled around under the thin blanket in an attempt to get more comfortable. "I could kill you,” he points out somewhat matter-o-factly with a little amused snort. 

"I think that little speech of yours would suggest otherwise," Nick retorts, a smile breaking out on his face. 

"True... But still..." Troy says, opens his eyes again to look over at Nick as he speaks. 

"No 'buts'. She may be my mother, but she lost my trust and there is absolutely nothing she could ever do to get it back after that. I can't and won’t go back to her after everything that's happened between us. And besides, she probably didn't survive being tossed around by the river," he argues as he stands and walks around his cot. 

Troy watches with a confused gaze as Nick pushes his own cot over so it’s right up against his own now. "I bet she didn't... Damn white witch of the apocalypse..." he mutters as he continues to watch Nick move about from under heavy eyelids. 

Nick paused a moment, hands pausing in the middle of fixing his pillow so he would be more comfortable, to look at Troy in confusion. "The white what?" 

"She has a way about her…” Troy says while raising a hand from under his blanket to wave in the air for emphasis. “Always getting what she wants... Makin' people do things they normally wouldn't... She's the white witch of the apocalypse..." Troy finishes with a sleepy little shrug, letting his eyes slip closed again. "She even fooled me..." 

With a sigh, Nick sits down on his cot and picks up his half-finished book, opening it back up to where he had dogeared the page to mark his place. "Yeah, well, I won't be fooled by her again. If she is still alive I'm never letting her near either of us.” A little bitterly he adds “She can rot for all I care.” 

Troy chuckles a little too easily at that. "She's your mother, you don't mean that.." 

"I do mean it. Killing you was nothing to her. I'm not going to just stand by and let her try again. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you, Troy. I can’t lose you. Not again." 

"My hero," he says with another chuckle before reaching over and grabbing Nick’s right hand from where it’s holding the corner of his book open. Holding it loosely.

Nick shakes his head at that, trying not to laugh as he threads his and Troy's fingers together, earning him a slightly confused look then a dopey smile. "You're definitely high. Take a nap, Troy. I'll be here when you wake up." 

"Yeah. Nap sounds good... M'tired..." Troy concedes sleepily as he pulls Nick's arm so their joined hands rest on his chest. 

The angle is a bit awkward for Nick, but he lets Troy hold onto his hand as he falls asleep.

Later on, looking down at the sleeping man beside him, Nick knows he made the right choice. He feels it in every atom of his being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost went for the extra laughs and had Troy start playing with his scruff while high on painkillers. I remember being on Percocet back when I had my gallbladder out and just spending a stupid amount of time touching my boyfriend's beard. I figured that was a bit too silly to try and add in with the tone of the chapter, though.


	8. A Little History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original name of this chapter was 'Best Laid Plans' because apparently 28 year-old0me was trying to be cleaver.  
> This was one of those chapters that I did a total overhaul of the dialogue. I feel like it's a lot better than it was before.

The next few days are fairly uneventful. Boring even. The group that went to raid the remains of the dam managed to get in and out before a horde of the dead arrived to swarm the place. They got the entirety of the kitchen cleared out. And they also grabbed the last remaining vehicles along with several cans of fuel, clothes, weapons, and tools. 

Alicia comes to sit with Nick and Troy in the clinic every day, usually bringing them their meals before Nick has a chance to go get them himself. She’s been helping Consuelo take care of the elderly members of the village when she's not helping with laundry or playing with the few younger kids that reside here. 

Strand spent all of a day attempting to play farmer before getting bored and offering to work in the kitchen instead. Growing food wasn't to his liking, but cooking it was another story altogether. 

He also stops in at least once a day to visit with Nick and Troy. Troy was a bit uneasy around him at first, but he got over it after the fourth day when Strand arrived bearing a bag of gummy worms he found hidden in a bin of flour they had taken from the dam. Turns out Troy likes gummies.

It wasn’t easy those first few days. Troy slept a lot, which was to be expected. He’d had to go up to taking two Percocet at a time for a few days, and that knocked him out after every dose. But it was what his body needed and when he was awake he would have Nick read to him when Consuelo wasn’t making him do tests to check his neurological functions.

It was the afternoon of the fifth day since Troy had woken up, and Consuelo has declared him well enough to switch from Oxy to prescription-strength Tylenol and move out of the clinic. 

Troy got lucky and hadn't developed an infection. And better yet, he was able to do most things by himself with no signs of deficits. He was given orders to come back twice a day for new bandages as the wound marring his temple continued to heal and to avoid hitting the side of his head as fractures of this nature can actually take months to heal after the pain is gone. 

Nick was in the middle of sorting through a box of clothes Tomás had given them that morning out of what had been scavenged from the dam. He felt kind of weird. Putting away clothes for both himself and Troy. In the same drawer. In the place where they would be sleeping in the same bed…

Troy walks in then, breaking Nick’s train of thought. He’s got a cardboard box in his arms that he definitely didn’t have earlier. And he doesn’t look too happy about it either.

"Hey, what've you got there?" Nick asks, pausing in his sorting to turn and fully face the taller man. 

"Some books and games. Couple of the old ladies cornered me coming out of the outhouse and insisted I take them. They kept going on about exercising my mind. Like playing monopoly will fix my brain or some shit," Troy says with a chuckle as he walks over and sets the box on their little makeshift dining table beside the one Nick had been sorting clothes out of. 

The hut they were moving into wasn't very big. It had room for a single width dresser. A full-sized bed that was just big enough for the both of them to share. Beside that sat a small nightstand that housed a lam. And lastly, they had a rickety card table with four folding chairs. There was just enough room to be sat at without impeding anyone else’s movements.

It’s a bit cramped. If they have more than three people in there at a time it would definitely be uncomfortable unless they’re all seated at the table or on the bed.

"Monopoly? Does it have all of the pieces?" Nick asks as he closes the drawer he had been filling. This was one of those little things he thought he might never see again. So of course he was going to drop what he was doing in favor of it. 

Troy blinks in confusion as he watches Nick start to rifle through the box in search of the aforementioned game. "I don't know. I didn't ask. Why?" 

"We should play," Nick answers simply as he finds the game at the bottom of the box along with a dirty 1000-piece puzzle box. “Hah!” he exclaims happily when he finds it.

"What?" Troy asks, picking up once of the books from where Nick had tossed it onto the table in his search and looks at the cover before tossing it back with the others. 

"I said, we should play," Nick reiterates as he grabs the boxes from the table and sets them on the floor before tossing the books in without regard for which box they land in. "You've played monopoly before, right?" he asks as he sets the monopoly box on the table and opens it with a flip of the lid. 

"Yeah, when I was like seven and Jake and I went to visit our aunt Esther for a week..." Troy recalls, scratching the side of his jaw as he tries to remember more details. "We kept fighting over who got to be the dog, so Esther took the game away after a while and made us go play outside with the kids that lived down the road." 

Nick laughs as he goes about counting everything in the box to make sure no pieces were missing. "I'm sure that went over real well." 

"I punched another kid for calling me a freak," Troy notes as he takes a seat at the small table and watches Nick as he focuses on making sure they have all the money and tiny plastic houses accounted for. 

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Nick mutters as he continues to count fake money. "Why'd they call you a freak?" he asks a moment later while glancing at Troy before looking back to the task at hand. 

"I didn't know how to play baseball. They said I was a freak because my brother knew and I didn't," Troy explained, picking up the different metal game pieces and examining them. He spends a moment turning them over one at a time between his fingers before setting them on the table and moving to the next one. 

"Seriously? That's nuts," Nick exclaims, finally sitting down himself before doling out their starting money on reflex. He doesn’t even have to think about it thanks to years of playing with his dad and Alicia. 

"I guess. I never really got the point of sports, ya'know? Everyone getting so riled up over a stupid game. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked watching Jake play, but I never cared who won or for the competitiveness of it all," he admits, picking up the dog piece and setting it on the 'Go' square. 

Nick picks up the shoe piece and sets it down beside Troy’s little metal dog. "I played soccer as a kid. I never really liked it though." 

"Then why did you play?" Troy asks as he starts to organize his money on his side of the table. 

"It made my parents happy," Nick explains with a shrug before handing Troy one of the dice so they could roll to see who went first. 

Troy rolls a 5. 

Nick rolls a 3. 

"And what would have made little Nicky happy? If you could have done anything you wanted back then, what would you have done?" Troy asks before picking up both dice and rolling for his first turn. He rolls a total of 8 and moves his piece along the board, making it jump from square to square as he counted under his breath. 

Nick snorts a laugh at how Troy plays because it’s oddly cute to see him like this. "I don't know, man." He pauses a moment, handing Troy the title card for Vermont Ave and taking his money before picking up the dice and giving them a roll himself. "Probably art classes or something like that." 

Troy raised a brow in question, watching Nick move his shoe piece 3 spaces then trade his money for the title to Baltic Ave. "What kind of art?" 

Nick blinks up from the game at Troy and thinks a moment before answering. "I always liked to draw. I wasn’t half bad at it, either." 

"What kind of things did you like to draw?" Troy honestly sounds curious about this, enough so that he almost miscounts when he rolls and moves his piece on the board next. 

"Whatever I saw. People. Buildings. Stuff I imagined while bored out of my mind," he elaborates, slapping Troy's hand away when he tries to grab Nick's piece to move it for him. "What about you, what did you want to do as a kid?" 

"I wanted to join the science club," Troy says with a broad smile. "Got taken out of school before I could join, though," he adds a moment later, voice just a little bitter. 

"Why did your parents take you out of school anyway?" Nick can’t help bust ask. His mom had told him some of the shit she learned about Troy from Jeremiah. But there was still a hell of a lot the both of them didn’t know about each other.

"I didn't always know how to act in certain situations. When the school's guidance counselor suggested I go to therapy to work on my social skills big Otto was furious. Dragged me out in the middle of the day screaming that no son of his was going to a crackpot shrink." The last part was said in a gruff voice that almost mimic’s what his father sounded like, Troy's face scrunched up in mock anger to play up the outrage his father felt. 

"Seriously? How old were you?" Nick asks, not even trying to pay attention to the game board now. He figured Jeremiah was the type to think like that. Too bad he didn’t know his mom had been a school guidance counselor. Maybe he wouldn’t have listened to her so much… Granted they still would have ended up where they are now regardless.

"I was ten," Troy recalls, expression a bit blank as he looks back down at the game board. It’s a look Nick has seen from him before. When prompted about his parents and their histories for medical purposes by Consuelo.

There’s a brief moment where neither of them moves to continue the game and the conversation is dropped there. Neither sure what to talk about for a bit as they continue to play. 

Eventually, Nick clears his throat, glancing at Troy before looking back to his little metal shoe as he moves it along the board. "So, I’ve been wondering, when you're well enough to travel, what do you want to do?" 

"What do you mean?" Troy asks, taking the dice and giving them a lazy roll. 

"I mean, do you want to stay here? Do you want to go somewhere else?" Nick clarifies as he hands Troy a Chance card. 

Troy hums in thought a moment before looking up at Nick from his card. "It's alright here, but I kind of want to go back up north... Maybe see if the dead have left the ranch..." he admits, almost hesitantly with the tilt of his head that makes him look like he’s trying to focus on the board when he’s really watching Nick to try and gauge his reaction. 

"We could do that," Nick agrees, tilting his own head to meet Troy's gaze. "We could even go farther if you wanted. Maybe find somewhere to start over with a place that’s all our own?" Nick dares to suggest before dropping his gaze back to their game. 

"... I think I'd like that..." Troy agrees after a moment’s thought, much to Nick’s surprise. "What about Alicia and Strand, you want them to tag along?" 

Nick scrunches his face in concentration as he counts out some money before answering. "Sure. I mean, if you're okay with it and they want to come along anyway. Strand seems to like it here at the moment, but he gets bored easily. And Alicia is learning a lot from Consuelo, but I know that she doesn’t want us to be separated again after everything that's gone down." 

Troy simply nods along with what Nick is saying before a question strikes him that he just has to ask. "Do you think they freeze?" 

"Who?" Nick asks, giving Troy a clearly puzzled look. 

"The dead? Do you think they'll freeze when winter hits?" Troy clarifies, game momentarily forgotten as he ponders the question. 

"I don't know,” Nick says, wondering for himself if they would. It stands to reason that they would. Humans freeze. So why wouldn’t the dead? “Probably..." 

"Want to find out?" Troy asks with the little smile he gets when he thinks he’s being cleaver. 

Nick just smiles back, shaking his head a little before asking. "Any particular destination in mind? Or should we just drive north until we hit snow and get a pair of binoculars?" 

"Washington,” Troy answers after huffing a laugh at Nick’s suggestion. “My aunt’s house is in the mountains up there. I can still remember how to get to it once you’re in the state. My dad and I spent a summer up there with a few other members of the ranch when I was a teenager. We installed solar panels on the roof and built this massive stone wall around the property to make it more secure. When people started moving to the ranch to prep for the end of days big Otto tries to convince Esther to move down and live with us. She told big Otto she wouldn’t leave her home no matter what he said so we went and fixed things up for her. She passed away about a year ago and the house has just been sitting there empty. Jake was supposed to sell it, but he said we might need it someday. He even made up some bullshit story about the asking price being too high whenever big Otto would ask him why it hadn’t sold yet." 

Nick barks a laugh at that. "Alright. Washington, huh? I like the sounds of that. I'll pitch the idea to Strand and Alicia at dinner tonight and we come up with a plan for how to get there when you’re well enough to leave." 

"Sounds good to me," Troy agrees, finally rolling the dice again and laughing when he lands on Boardwalk. 

Nick groans as he hands over the title card and takes Troy's money. He was getting his ass kicked, and at this rate, Troy was going to own the majority of the properties before long. 

By the time their game was over it was time to head to the mess hall for dinner. It was only their second night eating in there with the villagers, and while Troy found it a bit overwhelming, he toughed it out and stuck by Nick's side through the wait in the chow line and idle chit-chat with the various nosey old ladies that wanted to know how he was doing. 

They spot Alicia and Strand at a table in the corner, two chairs left empty and waiting just for them.

"Hey, Troy, how are you feeling?" Alicia asks as they approach. 

"I’m good, thanks," he replies with a small smile as he takes a seat. 

"So," Nick starts without preamble as he sets his tray down. "Troy and I were talking, and we want to head up north once Consuelo says he's clear to leave." 

"Is that so? And do the two of you have any particular destination in mind or is this just a spontaneous adventure you two lovebirds intend to take?" Strand asks, leaning forward in his seat and resting his arms on the table. He did love to play up the dramatic air of things. 

"Washington," Troy supplies simply before taking a bite of his dinner. 

"And what, pray tell, is there in Washington that’s worth outweighs the risk of traveling so far?" Strand rephrases, curious but cautious. He’s trying to hide it, but he’s definitely interested. Probably tired of cooking for almost 70 people a day already.

"Troy's aunt had a house in the mountains up there. It was set up kind of like the ranch. Solar panels, a river nearby to provide water, and the best part, a massive stone wall around the entire property protect it all. We could probably make the drive in less than a week if we avoid major cities and only stop long enough to eat and sleep," Nick explains, rolling his eyes at the skeptical looks his sister and their friend are giving him. 

"Look, the point is, it's a place we can start over. Far away from anyone that might want us dead,” he notes, giving Strand a pointed look “and the two of us are going regardless of what anyone else thinks. So what we want to know is if you want to come with us. Troy says the house is more than big enough for four people. And honestly, I don’t really want us to be separated again unless we absolutely have to." 

Strand just chuckles and shakes his head, a fond smile overtaking his features. He doesn’t answer, but that smile is answer enough. He’s sticking with them.

Alicia studies Nick and Troy a moment before voicing her decision. "I'll talk to Tomás and the others about what supplies they’ll be able to spare for us after dinner." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I cracked myself up adding the like about driving north and getting binoculars when Troy asked if Nick thought the walkers would freeze in winter. Sometimes I write stupid shit and it just sticks in my head until I have to add it.


	9. Shots Fired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another of those chapters that I started editing and was like FUCK THIS IS TERRIBLE I MUST FIX IT ALL  
> I didn't actually change a whole lot, though.  
> Also, the title was originally Awry because of the previous title being called Best Laid Plans. I'm such a dork.  
> The new title was just because I had a Rise Against song stuck in my head

A few days later, Troy and Nick find themselves back in Consuelo's clinic. It’s just after breakfast and Consuelo is checking Troy over to see how the healing gash on his head is looking today. Troy sat on the end of one of the cots, Nick standing beside him while the doctor stood before the two of them. 

"I should be able to take the stitches out tomorrow," she says with a smile. "You'll be good to go after that. I’ll mix up some more antibiotic ointment for you to take with you, just to be safe." 

"Thanks, Doc," Troy says with an easy smile as he watches her turn away to start picking through a few bottles and boxes on her work table. 

"You're welcome," she says over her shoulder as she continued to go about her business. 

"So, Doc, if our plans don't work out it's cool if we come back here, right?" Nick joked as he walked over to lean on the clinic’s work table. 

Consuelo chuckles softly at that before shaking her head. "I know Tomás and the others already told you that you could." 

"I know, I just want to make sure you're not gonna give our house away to the next poor bastards that come looking for help,” he says with a shrug. "I'd hate to drive all the way back to find out I have to fix up another one." 

Both Nick and Consuelo looked over at the sound of Troy laughing. "If we have to come back I'll build you a goddamn house," he offers, a bit breathlessly once he gets his laughter under control. 

Nick grins at that. "I'm going to hold you to that." 

Consuelo just rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her table. "You two are going to give me diabetes. Go be sappy somewhere else," she orders with a dismissive wave of her hands. 

Nick snorts a laugh as he pushes away from the table to join Troy, who’s already walking out of the door of the clinic. "Don't act like you don't gossip about us with the old ladies in the village while you're out doing your rounds. I've heard them talking, it’s like we're their own personal telenovela." 

"I plead the fifth," Consuelo shouts after them as they leave the clinic. 

"We're not even in America!" Nick shouts back with a loud laugh before the door swings closed behind him.

"Do they really talk about us?" Troy asks once they’re a few feet away from the clinic. 

Nick glances over at Troy, the two of them walking side by side as they head around back to the mess hall to help with the post-breakfast cleanup. "They have a betting pool going on when we’ll finally kiss in front of someone," Nick says with a smirk. 

Troy rolls his eyes before putting an arm around Nick's waist and pulling him flush against his side. "Is that so? Well then, if I were to kiss you right now, do you know who would win?" he asks in a hushed tone, a mischievous little smile spreading over his lips. 

"Well..." Nick says, stretching the word and looking around quickly to see who might be watching them. He spots Mrs. Rodrigez is in the rocking chair outside of her hut, pretending to read a book, her gaze keeps flicking up to them every few seconds. 

She didn't speak English, so she definitely didn’t know what they were talking about. A few other villagers were out and about, but no one else was really watching them at the moment. "If I heard correctly, then it would be George's grandmother, Elenore." 

"Hmm... She seems nice. What does she get if she wins?" Troy asks, coming around so both his arms dangled over Nick's shoulders now. Troy pulls him a bit closer and Nick wraps his arms around Troy's waist in turn. 

"A bottle of tequila," Nick says with a shake of his head, smiling at Troy's antics. 

Troy leans into him, letting his forehead rest against Nick's as he looks him in the eyes. "What do you think, should we help her win? Give them something to gossip about?" He asks with a wink. 

Nick just laughs then closes the distance between the two of them, his eyes closing the moment their lips make contact. It’s not their first kiss, that had happened a few nights ago when they were alone in the clinic, but it still excites him like it’s the first time all over again. Troy's lips are warm and just a little chapped against his own and he can’t help but wonder how they would feel anywhere else on his body. 

After a long, lingering moment they break apart, Troy letting his forehead rest against Nick's again. 

Nick opens his eyes then to find Troy wearing a smile that mirrors his own. 

"I wonder how long it'll take for everyone to hear," Troy mused as he steps back, letting his arms slide from around Nick's neck and fall back to his own sides. 

"I'd say about half an hour. But if you want to time it I'll keep an ear out," Nick offers sweetly before turning to continue on to the mess hall. As he does so he notes Mrs. Rodrigez getting up from her rocker and heading off in the direction of the little garden some of the other elderly members of the village liked to tend to keep busy. 

Troy follows him with a laugh, checking the time on his watch as they go. "Hey, do you mind if I skip out on cleanup?" he asks when they reach the door to the mess hall. 

Nick turns to face Troy, blinking at him in confusion. "Sure. Everything alright?" 

Troy gives a small nod before answering. "Just got a bit of a headache starting. I think I'm gonna go lay down for a while," he says while scratching the back of his head and looking towards their hut. 

"Okay. You want me to come wake you up when I'm done here?" He asks while nodding his head in the direction of the mess hall. 

"Sure," Troy agrees with a small nod before ducking his head and giving Nick a quick kiss on the lips before turning and walking away with a wicked smile on his face. 

Nick heaves a put-upon sigh and shakes his head as he watches Troy walk away. After a moment he opens the door of the mess hall and heads in to help with the morning cleanup. 

~~~

Not long into helping Alicia, Jorge and Tomás wash dishes, Strand burst into the back room of the mess hall like a man on a mission. "We've got a problem," he says in a rush as he closes the door behind him. 

"What is it?" Nick asks, dropping the plate he was cleaning back into the tub of soapy water and turning to face Strand. Everyone else follows suit, turning to face the man who was now pacing back and forth rapidly. 

"Madison is here," Strand says, face stone serious. 

"Who's Madison?" Asks Jorge as he looks from Strand to Alicia, and then Nick. 

Alicia looks to the teenager, answering for her brother who’s frozen with a look of horror on his face. "Our mom." 

Both Jorge and Tomás traded confused looks. 

"I take it that her being here isn't a good thing," Tomás asks after a beat before grabbing a towel and drying his hands. 

Alicia shakes her head before informing them "She's the one who tried to kill Troy." 

Nick snaps out of his daze at Alicia's words. "I need to get him out of here," he says as he starts towards the door. 

Strand is there in a heartbeat and grabs Nick by his shoulders, keeping the younger man from running out the door. "Nicholas, listen to me. If you run out there right now she will undoubtedly see you. I was with Consuelo when I spotted her coming, she's going to try and convince Madison that you aren't here if she asks, alright. I need you to take a breath and try to get it together before you do something rash." 

Nick blinks up at Strand, hearing him but also not. Troy was laying down in their hut. Their hut which is only a few dozen feet away from the clinic and facing the well at the center of the village. If he was to get up and move past the window or god forbid leave to take a piss he would be dead. No way Madison would see him and not try to finish the job. 

"Troy's in our hut. If he comes out while she's in the middle of the village talking to Consuelo he's as good as dead," Nick says as he shrugs Strand’s hands off of him. He tries to push past the older man and finds himself being grabbed not only by him but Alicia as well; both of them wrapping their arms around his torso and arms to hold him back. 

"Nick, you said yourself that Troy was getting a headache and went to get some rest. He probably took some painkillers and passed out. You know how long he sleeps when he takes those things. He’ll be fine. We just have to wait for Consuelo to send mom away and you can go to him," Alicia tries to reason, voice calm, and even as she tries to placate him. 

Nick shakes his head as he tries to pull away from the two holding him back tightly. "What if she doesn't go. What if she tries to stay and they can't talk her out of it," 

"Then I'll go out and get rid of her," Alicia says resolutely, finally letting go of Nick only to take his face in both hands and make him look her in the eyes. 

"That's crazy! If she sees you she'll want you to come with her!" Nick argues, looking at Alicia in abject horror. 

"No, she won't. If I tell her I don't want to go with her she'll leave me. She doesn't care about me the same way she does about you, Nick. She never has. If I tell her you went east she'll go without hesitation. Especially if she thinks I'll be waiting here for her to bring you back." 

"You would do that? After everything that's happened with me and Troy? After we got Jake killed, you would go out there and do that?" Nick asks despite himself, eyes wide in disbelief. He had confessed to her that he was the one that caused Jake’s death. She had been upset, enough so that she couldn’t look at him for almost a day. But then she came to him and said she doesn’t blame him. 

"Jake and I were doomed from the start. You and Troy don't have to be," Alicia says simply as she lets go of a no longer struggling Nick. 

"What can we do to help?" Tomás pipes in. He had stayed back this whole time, an arm keeping Jorge out of the way while Alicia and Strand dealt with Nick.

"Can you box up those supplies we discussed? I have a feeling we're going to be leaving sooner than originally intended," Strand answers, finally releasing his own grasp on Nick. 

"Of course," Tomás says while nodding to the three. "Jorge, go find Tyler and Jeff and ask them to start loading Nick's van and Victor's truck with water and fuel. Tell them to keep quiet about it and that if they have any questions to come find me," Tomás orders as he turns away to start grabbing various cans and bottles from shelves. There are some empty storage totes in the corner, and he starts loading one with the supplies he pulls. 

Jorge nods his understanding before rushing out the door, slamming it loudly behind him in his haste. 

Nick drops to the floor, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his back to the tub-turned-dish-sink. He brings his hands up to run through his shaggy brown hair then, trying to calm himself further. "We're so screwed..." he mutters to himself. 

"It's going to be fine, Nick. We'll find a way around all of this," Alicia tries her best to assure as she kneels beside her brother and puts a hand on his shoulder. 

"Yeah..." Nick says, shaking his head a bit before taking a deep breath. " Okay, I'm good now..." He pushes himself up to stand again and then heads over to help Tomás sort out some more canned goods for them to take. 

Alicia goes back to washing dishes after that, unsure what else to do with herself. 

Strand walks over to the door and clears his throat, getting everyone’s attention. "I'm going to go do a bit of reconnaissance. See if Madison and Consuelo are still in the village center, or if they've gone somewhere else to talk." He doesn’t wait around for anyone to try and protest before he slips out the door. 

~~~

As Strand peers around the corner of the clinic, he spots Madison and Consuelo standing beside the old well nestled in the center of the little horseshoe-shaped village. Consuelo had walked around so Madison was facing back towards the direction she came from and away from the general direction of the hut Nick and Troy shared. 

"Look, I know your people went to the dam, I saw those vehicles there myself over a week ago. I just want to know if you've seen my kids. My oldest, Nick, is a little taller than me with stringy brown hair. His sister is my height with brown hair that turns blonde about halfway down. She was with an older gentleman, black, with a beard, goes by the name of Strand," Madison explains, sounding annoyed. 

"As I said before, we haven't had anyone pass through the village in a while. And we have those vehicles because we heard the explosion and a few people went to investigate," Consuelo counters, crossing her arms over her chest and staring down Madison. Strand can tell from her stance she already has a read on Madison and doesn’t like it. 

"Can I at least ask around? Maybe someone saw them along the river while collecting water?" Madison pleads, throwing her arms out to gesture to the people milling about their own business around the village. 

Strand watches, the two continue to bicker a moment before slipping back around the clinic to get Alicia. It looks like Madison isn't going to be satisfied until she was sure no one here had seen them. 

Giving a quick knock in warning, he lets himself in through the mess hall’s back door. Alicia was washing dishes, Nick and Tomás had finished filling a tote with supplies and were discussing a backup plan to help them escape at nightfall if they have to. 

"She's not leaving until she speaks to everyone in the village, we need to go to plan B," Strand says as he steps inside and closes the door behind him. 

Hearing that, Alicia grabs an old towel and quickly dried her hands. "Alright," she says with a nod. "I'll take her to my hut to talk. That should give you enough time to get to Troy. Once she's gone I'll come to get you both." 

Nick nods his understanding before wrapping an arm around Alicia's neck and pulling her into a tight hug. "Please be careful," He says before letting her go. 

“I will.” 

With that Alicia was out the door, Strand hot on her heels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pleased with how this worked out. It feels more like how they would actually interact in my opinion


	10. In The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S THE FINAL CHAPTER (It's the final countdown plays in the background dramatically)  
> *clears through* alright, so, here we are! I once again need to thank my friend Polly, I wouldn't have gotten all this done (in like 4 days nonetheless) without her help and encouragement. I'm so fucking happy with how this turned out and they're a big part of the reason why. <3

"What are you doing?" Alicia asks while eyeing Strand as he walks alongside her.

"Adding a little extra incentive. She'll be more inclined to leave you behind if she believes I’ll be here to keep an eye on you," he supplies with a little smirk.

A moment later the two of them rounded the corner of the clinic to find Consuelo and Madison still arguing over by the well. Neither having budge even an inch from their spot.

"Mom!" Alicia calls out, breaking into a run once they’re clear of the row of buildings. 

Madison turns around, shock evident on her face, and she throws her arms open and catches Alicia, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Alicia!" After a beat of elation, she turns her head to face Consuelo. "What the hell is this! Why did you lie about them being here!?!?!" she demands.

"Madison," Strand says, tone chiding as he makes his way over to her and Alicia.

"I asked her and the other villagers to lie if anyone came looking for us. Proctor John and his men are still out there and they’re probably looking for us." Alicia says, pulling away from her mother to give her a hard look as she moves to stand beside Strand. "I told Consuelo and the others what happened at the dam and they promised to help hide us from anyone that came looking.” It’s not a total lie, so telling it isn’t hard for her.

"So you had them lie, even to me? I'm your mother!" Madison actually yells, anger and disbelief written clearly on her face.

"We thought you were dead, Madison. We searched the river for you for hours once the waters calmed down. We looked until the zodiac ran out of gas. There was no sign of you anywhere," Strand informers, voice calm.

"What about Nick? Did you find him? Is he here?" Madison asks, seeming to calm a little at Victor’s explanation. She looks back in the direction the two had come from, clearly hoping for her eldest to emerge from the shadows any moment.

"He was already here the morning we arrived. He stayed a few days before heading east," Strand supplies. He really is the better liar of their group. And while he considered Madison a friend, his loyalties towards Nick and Alicia are stronger after having learned what kind of a mother she really is from a few brief conversations with the Clark children over these past few days.

"And you just let him go?" Madison asks incredulously as she places her hands on her hips.

"Of course I let him go. He's an adult, mom, he can do what he wants," Alicia argues, taking a step back to put a little more space between her and her mother.

"He tried to kill himself a week ago! How could you do that, Alicia! What the hell is wrong with the two of you!" Madison yells, temper slipping further. She looks livid. And even more concerning she looks ready to lash out if she’s pushed much farther.

"I told you I'm not going to put up with his bullshit anymore! If he wants to kill himself then fine! I lost Jake because of him! We lost another home! I'm done trying to save him!" Alicia yells back, getting right in her mom's face this time, much to everyone else’s surprise. 

"Ladies, please. Perhaps we should talk about this someplace less public? People are staring," Strand interjected, cautiously putting an arm between Madison and Alicia to make them both step back away from one another. He’s honestly impressed by Alicia’s outburst. Had he not been witness to the sibling’s reunion and reconciling he would have believed her words himself.

With a huff, Alicia crosses her arms and looks away from her mother. "The shack I’ve been staying in is this way," she says before turning on her heel and leading them in the direction of the small farm located at the back of the village. She picked the location because it was out of the way and gave her room to breathe while she dealt with her own feelings. And right now she’s seriously glad she went with that decision.

After a beat of hesitation, Madison follows after her daughter.

Strand follows suit a moment later, looking to Consuelo and gesturing in the direction they had come while mouthing ‘mess hall’.

~~~

Once Alicia, Strand, and Madison are gone, Consuelo takes off running for the mess hall. 

She barely gets the door open before she smacks straight into Nick, who apparently had gotten anxious and was going to try and sneak out to see if his mother was gone.

"Hey, what’s going on out there? Did she go with Alicia? Is she leaving?" Nick asks anxiously, looking over Consuelo's shoulder to see if anyone was behind her.

"Alicia took her back to her hut to talk in private. Strand went with them. Come on, let's get you to Troy," she explains quickly while wrapping an arm around Nick's shoulder and leading him out the door and around the back of the few buildings that sat between the mess hall and his own home.

Nick waits at the back corner of the hut a moment, letting Consuelo walk ahead to check that the coast was indeed still clear. She waves a hand over her shoulder to signal that it's safe, and with that Nick quickly sprints around the tiny building and lets himself inside.

Once he’s in, he finds Troy curled up on his right side in their bed so that he’s facing the wall. He has the curtains drawn shut, blocking out most of the light from outside, and he’s hugging Nick's pillow to his chest as he snores lightly.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Nick comes over and sits down on the edge of the bed. He pauses a moment, wondering if he should wake Troy or let him sleep, before he places a hand on Troy's shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Hey, Troy, wake up."

Troy groans and curls into a tighter ball on the bed, his face almost disappearing where he buries it in Nick’s pillow "I just fell back to sleep..." he whines tiredly.

"I know, and I’m sorry, but we have a problem. My mom is here."

"What?" Troy asks while uncoiling and rolling onto his back to blink up at Nick with bleary eyes. "Does she know we’re here? How did she find us?"

"I don't know. But she was going to go around asking the whole village if they'd seen us, so Alicia is trying to convince her I left and went east to get rid of her. Some of the villagers are getting things ready for us to leave as soon as she's gone. So, we need to get ready," Nick explains as he stands up and grabs the cardboard box from under their table that they were going to use for their belongings.

He sets it on the table and quickly moves to the dresser to start pulling their clothes from it. He had already packed up a few things, but there was still enough left for him to fill the box.

"What if she won't leave?" Troy asks while rubbing at his eyes, taking care not to hit the bruise that still surrounded most of his left one.

"Then we wait for it to get dark and sneak out," Nick explains as he throws the sweatshirt he finds stuffed in the back of a drawer. "I talked to Tomás, he said he'd create a distraction if we need him to. We just need to bide our time and stay quiet for now."

Troy nods his understanding as he slowly sits up and shifts around so that he’s sitting on the edge of the bed now. "What about our supplies?"

"Tomás and I boxed up a week's worth of food. He's going to bring it over to the van in a bit. Tyler and Jeff are supposed to be loading it up with gas and water right now," Nick does his best to fill in the blanks. He’s still panicking. Still trying to keep his shit together. And it’s really, really hard to keep everything straight in his head right now.

After watching him for a moment, Troy gets up and steps behind Nick where he stands at their table, folding some of their clothes in an attempt to make them fit in the box better. "Okay," he says as he wraps his arms around Nick's waist and leans against the shorter man, ducking his head a bit so his chin rests on his shoulder.

Nick heaves a sigh and lets himself lean back into Troy, his hands automatically coming up to hold onto Troy’s arms where they cross in front of his stomach. "One day. If she had shown up one day later we would have been gone and none of this would be happening."

Tightening his hold a moment, Troy giving Nick a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, well, that’s our luck, isn’t it," Tory says with a humorless chuckle. "It's gonna be okay, Nick. That woman would go to the ends of the earth to find you. If she thinks you went east, she's not gonna hesitate to follow."

"I guess..." Nick concedes. "You're handling this really well considering she tried to kill you a week ago..."

Troy shrugs, the movement felt clearly against Nick’s back. "Hard to get too worked up over something when you don't remember it. Now if she was here in front of me, that’d be a different story. Anyway, we're still safe for the moment. She doesn't know I'm alive or that you're here, so we just have to lay low and wait for our chance.”

Nick hums his agreement at that. "In that case, you want to play monopoly while we wait for an update?" he asks a second later, turning his head enough to glance at Troy out of the corner of his eye.

Troy studies him a moment before he smiles and nods. "I'll be the banker this time," he offers as he releases his hold on Nick and moves to take a seat at the table.

Nick huffs a laugh before taking the box of clothes off of the table and grabbing the monopoly box from where it had been tucked away under their bed. His nerves are still fried, and he still wants to just grab Troy by the hand and run like hell. But hopefully, this little distraction will help.

~~~

Across the village, Strand was sitting on Alicia's bed while she and Madison sat at Alicia’s little dining table. Madison had her arms crossed over her chest, a look of annoyance on her face that mirrored the one Alicia wore as she stared her mother down.

"So, did Nick say where exactly he was going?" Madison finally asks, tone still a bit sharp with anger.

"He just said east. I think he was going to look for Luciana," Alicia pretends to speculate, rolling her eyes like she could care less for this line of questioning.

Madison heaves a long-suffering sigh and relaxes back into her seat a bit. "She was going to Mexicali when she left the ranch. She should be there by now if she made it." After a moment of thought, she cracks a smile. "You said he left a few days ago, right? Was he walking or did he take a vehicle?"

"He took a truck," Strand supplies, drawing her gaze away from Alicia momentarily. "The villagers gave him enough supplies to last a week or so and a few cans of gas. If that’s where he was headed he’s probably made it there by now.”

"That was very generous of them," Madison notes, clearly suspicious of the kindness these people have been showing her family.

"When word spread that Nick was the one to blow up the dam the people here were very grateful. They saw it as the least they could do given the circumstances," Strand informs her as he crosses one leg over the other and scratches at his beard a bit. 

"So why didn't you go with him?" Madison asks, turning in her seat a bit to better face Strand.

Strand smiles and shakes his head as he answers "Had he asked, I probably would have. But the fact of the matter is he didn’t ask, and by the time I learned of his departure he was already at least half a days drive away on an unknown route."

"Alright. Do you think these people would give you a vehicle and some supplies if you asked? We can be there in a few days," she says, nodding her understanding.

Alicia gapes at Madison a moment, clearly irked that her mother expects her to drop everything and go along with her like a good little girl. "I'm not going after him, mom. If you want to go that's fine, but I'm staying here."

"Alicia, don't start-" Madison begins, posture shifting to something tense and irritated again as she leans forward in her seat.

"No, mom, I'm done. I’m not going with you to chase after Nick. If you want to go looking for him you’re more than welcome to, but I'm staying here," she says resolutely, her face set in a hard mask of defiance.

"Madison, might I suggest a compromise?" Strand interjects, trying to ease the tension in the air a bit and effectively cutting Madison off before she can argue further.

Madison just raises a brow at the older man, waiting for him to continue.

"Alicia has found a purpose here. She's working with Consuelo in the clinic and helping take care of the elderly members of the village that have no one else to look after them. I think it’s safe to say she’s not going anywhere, meaning you have a place to come back to once you find Nick," Strand suggests calmly. He studies her face and overall posture as he speaks, watching for any small signs that she might know they’re lying to her.

Madison considers his words a moment before finally nodding and relaxing back into her seat once again. "Alright. What about you? Are you going to stay here as well?"

Smiling brightly at that, amusement clear. "I promised Mrs. Rodriguez I would play checkers with her this evening. She’s beaten me three games in a row and I intend to exact my revenge tonight. Besides, if I leave now I would be walking out on my promise to help out in the communal kitchen. It turns out the people here are quite fond of my recipe for chicken stew," Strand explains, leaning back against the wall behind Alicia's bed as he does so.

Sighing, Madison looks back to Alicia. “Fine. I don't suppose you have enough pull with these people to get them to lend me a vehicle then?"

Alicia and Strand trade questioning looks a moment before Alicia moves to stand. "I think we can manage that. I'll go talk to Consuelo and Tomás," she offers before moving past her mother and heading out the door.

Once they’re alone together, Madison looks over at Strand with worry clear on her face. "Be honest with me, is everything alright here? How did Nick seem before he left?"

Quirking a brow at Madison, he pats the space beside him on Alicia's bed, inviting her to come sit at his side. She does, scooting back until her back is to the wall right beside Strand’s. Once there, he puts an arm around her and pulls her close, trying to give a bit of comfort and reassurances. "Everything here is fine, Madison. Alicia likes it here. As for Nick, he was a little off at first, but he was good the last time I saw him. He's a resourceful young man, wherever he is I have no doubt that he is thriving."

Madison let her head rest on Strand’s shoulder as she listened to him. "I hope so," she says with a sigh. "So, they have you working as a cook, huh?"

Strand let out a soft chuckle. "I tried my hand at farming first. It wasn't to my liking."

~~~

Alicia makes her way over to the mess hall, where she finds Consuelo and Tomás inside talking to a few other villagers.

"I convinced my mom that Nick went east and that she should go after him alone but I need a truck for her to borrow," Alicia explains, cutting into their conversation as she enters the room.

Tomás raises an eyebrow at that, an unimpressed look overtaking his features. "What's to stop her from keeping it when she comes back from looking for Nick and finds the rest of you have gone?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to stop her from taking it when that happens," Alicia says, looking from Tomás to Consuelo. "It's still early so I think if we get a truck ready now she'll be willing to leave right away."

Consuelo and the others trade questioning looks before bickering a moment in quickly spoken Spanish. Finally, after a few choice words, everyone nods their agreement. "Alright, get a truck ready for her. I'll go update Nick and Troy," she orders before turning to leave the mess hall.

There’s some disgruntled grumbling from a few of the others in the room, but Tomás hushed them quickly. "If it weren't for these people we wouldn't have any of these vehicles or the supplies from the dam. Don't argue."

~~~

Consuelo knocks gently on the door of Nick and Troy's hut before letting herself in.

The two younger men are sitting at their little table, monopoly board out, and fake money and property cards strewn about in front of them.

"Hey, what’s going on? Is she leaving?" Nick asks as he turns in his seat to face the doctor as she enters.

"Alicia convinced her to go looking for you. We're getting a truck ready for her now. Do you two need anything? I'm not sure how long it will take for her to head out," she informs them while turning to take a look out the door into the village center. People are still milling about their business like everything was normal, despite it being clear that things were not.

Troy hums in thought and shakes his head no before looking back to the game at hand.

"I think we're good for now," Nick supplies. "Unless there's anything you think we can do?"

Consuelo shakes her head. "Just hang out here for now. I don't know how long it'll take for her to leave, but someone will come get you once she's gone."

Both Nick and Troy nod their understanding and then watch Consuelo leave a moment later.

~~~

"What do you want to do after we finish this game?" Nick asks Troy once they’re alone again.

Snorting in response, Troy shakes his head. "Take a nap. My last one was cut short,” he snarks.

Nick laughs as he takes the offered dice from Troy's hands. "How about we take a nap now and we can pick this back up after?"

"We, huh?" Troy asks, one brow raised in question.

Nick just grins. "I mean, we've got a lot of driving ahead of us. I might as well get some rest now while I can," he elaborates with a shrug before standing and kicking his shoes off to rest beside Troy’s where he left them next to their bed. 

Troy huffs and shakes his head before getting up and following Nick as he climbs into bed. He’s so tired. Worried too. But he took one of those prescription tylenol earlier and it’s making him sleepy despite that.

As for Nick, he’s a bit wired, anxious enough that relaxing is difficult at first. But then Troy is behind him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He pulls Nick in close so that his back is flush against Troy’s chest. They both fidget a moment, getting comfortable, finding the best way to settle in.

Surprisingly, he manages to drift off not long after that. Lulled to sleep by the warmth of Troy’s body where it’s pressed against his own, and the steady breathing of the other man in his ear. 

~

Alicia parks the truck beside the old barn not far from her shack. Once the engine is off she takes a deep breath to steady herself and climbs out of the vehicle. Strand and her mom are outside of her temporary home, having exited when they saw the truck coming.

"That was fast," Madison notes, expression a bit hard to read as she walks over to meet her daughter halfway.

"Yeah, well, they trust me. Though I had to promise them that you would bring it back after you’ve found Nick," Alicia explains as she hands the keys to her mother. "Are you going to go after him now or are you going to stick around for a bit?"

Madison pockets the keys before turning to take a good look at their surroundings. She hadn’t gotten much of a look when she followed Alicia out here earlier, and she’s clearly trying to note every detail she can while she has the chance. "Think I could stick around and get lunch with my daughter before I go?"

"Yeah, of course." Alicia agrees while shooting Strand a look. "Think you could go get us all something from the mess hall?"

Strand gives a smile and a quick nod before turning on his heel and heading off without a word.

As he walks away Madison turns her attention back to Alicia. "Licia, is everything really alright here? You seem a little off."

Alicia gave her mom a put-upon look. "Mom, I swear, things here are good. I want to stay and learn medicine from Consuelo. You know I wanted to go pre-med at Berkeley! Why is it so hard for you to believe I want to learn medicine from a real doctor while I have the chance?"

"And that's really all this is?" Madison questions, taking a step closer to her.

"Yes, mom, that really is all there is to it. No one's making me stay here. This isn't like what happened with the Proctors. I didn't wander in and get sucked into helping someone that won't let me leave. If that were the case they wouldn't have left us alone together. And they definitely wouldn't have trusted me with a truck," Alicia starts out fairly calm, her tone slowly growing more upset as she continues on.

With a sigh, Madison pulls Alicia into a hug. "Alright, sweetheart, I get it. I believe you."

Alicia hugs her back after a moment's hesitation. "Can we please go back inside now. Some of the farmers are watching and the people in this village are all gossips."

Madison laughs before letting her go. "Sure. You can tell me more about this place."

~

Nick and Troy are awoken by Alicia letting herself into their hut maybe two hours later. She has two bowls of chili and a small stack of fresh tortillas on a tray that she carries one-handed as she enters. "Hey, guys, time to wake up," she says upon seeing the two of them curled up in bed together.

"What time is it?" Nick asks, squinting over at Alicia from his place between Troy and the wall.

Troy groans and raises his arm to squint at his wristwatch in the dim light. "1:47 pm," he mumbled before forcing himself up to a sitting position.

"Mom just left," Alicia informs them as she closes the door behind her and sets their lunch on the table, pushing aside their forgotten monopoly game.

“Do you guys want to leave this afternoon or wait until tomorrow morning?" she asks as she picks up the shoe piece Nick had been using and gives it a thoughtful look before putting it back on the board.

Nick scratches the back of his head as he watches Troy get out of bed and move to take a seat at the table, clearly more interested in food at the moment than making any decision. "Probably should leave sooner rather than later to be safe,"

"Are you and Strand still coming with us?" Troy asks before ripping a tortilla in half and dipping a piece into his bowl of chili.

"That's the plan. I'm thinking I might come back once you guys are settled up in Washington, though. I want to study medicine with Consuelo for a while, but I really don't want to be here when mom comes back," Alicia admits cautiously as she takes a seat herself.

Nick trades looks with Troy as he finally gets up and comes to take a seat at the table. "Okay," he says as he grabs his own lunch off of the tray.

"You are way more chill about this than I was expecting. You're not high, are you?" Alicia asks, cracking a smile when Nick sighs loudly and rolls his eyes while Troy just chuckles.

"Nope, definitely not high. If I were, I get the feeling Troy would probably kick my ass," Nick says before stuffing a spoonful of chili in his mouth.

"Probably," Troy parrots as he rips another piece of tortilla and dips it into his chili again. 

"Anyway,” Nick begins with a chuckle, “if you guys are ready to go then we are too."

Alicia nods and moves to stand. "I think Strand and I both have some packing left to do, but we should be ready by the time you’re done eating. We’ll bring the vehicles around once we’re good to go,” she says as she makes her way over to the door. She leaves a beat later, the door closing behind her with a loud click.

"You sure you're ready to go?" Troy asks once they’re alone.

Nick blinks up from his meal at him before answering, a bit confused. "Yeah. We just need to pack up the monopoly board and we'll be good to go," he assures before going back to stuffing his face. He’s going to miss  Tomás ’ cooking.

“Not too late to change your mind here, Nicky. If you want to stay with your family, I'll understand," he says in a tone of voice that’s meant to be understanding, but there’s a hint of fear lacing it all. He doesn’t want Nick to leave him. But he can’t help but think he might still choose his mother over him.

"If I wanted to ditch you, I would have already," Nick says, pointing at Troy with his spoon before adding. "Now eat your damn lunch and quit trying to get rid of me.”

Troy huffs a laugh, relief clear in the way his shoulders slump a little and he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. "You, are a terrible boyfriend. So bossy," he complains lightly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm a real asshole. But so are you. That's one of the reasons this whole thing between us works," Nick says with a chuckle, shaking his head.

“Yeah? What are the other reasons, then?” Troy asks, trying not to sound too amused or curious. He’s been thinking about this a lot, and he wants to hear what Nick thinks.

Humming in thought, Nick tilts his head and considers Troy a moment before answering. “You said it yourself before. We’re both the messed-up black sheep of the family. And you were right, I did wish that I wasn’t. But after everything that’s happened, I’m starting to come to terms with it. Just like you’re finally starting to grow as a person.”

The grin on Troy’s face is almost comical as he leans back in his chair. “Oh, am I?” He doesn’t think he’s ever heard someone talk about him like this.

“Yeah, Troy, you are. Think about it. A month ago you would have probably tried to kill everyone in this village and use them for your experiments. Now you’re eating dinner with them and asking the little old Mexican lady next door if she’ll share her tea with you.”

“I don’t like coffee,” Troy remarks, like that’s the point of Nick’s speech and not the fact that he’s made a dramatic improvement in his view of other people in such a short time.

“Just... Tell me the truth here, Troy. Do you honestly feel like you’re still the same person you were back when we first met at the depot,” Nick presses the question. He’s seen the way Troy has been changing. It’s so glaringly obvious compared to who he was just a few weeks back. He’s more relaxed around Consuelo and the others. He’s even been letting Jorge teach him some more Spanish so he can talk to the people that don’t speak English a little.

Troy opens his mouth, ready to speak, but then closes it again as a look of confusion shifts over his features. He lets out a sigh a moment later and looks Nick in the eyes as he answers. “I don’t… Guess you’re rubbing off on me, Nicky.”

After that, they fall silent, both feeling they don’t need to say anything else as they finish their meal and go about making sure the last of their meager belongings are packed up and ready to go.

Not long after they get the last of their things packed away, they hear the sound of vehicles approaching. Alicia lets herself back into their hut a moment later, her jacket on and a new hunting knife clipped on her belt. "You guys ready to go?"

"Yeah, we just need to get this box out to the van and get our feet dressed," Nick explains as he grabs his shoes and Troy’s boots from where they rest by the bed.

"I can get us going in the right direction once we’re back across the border. We just need to avoid any major cities if we want to avoid any large herds of the dead roaming around," Troy explains to Nick and Alicia as he accepts his boots and begins to put them on.

"Alright. The truck and van both have full tanks of gas and we have a barrel’s worth of it in the back of the truck. Hopefully, that’s enough to last us the trip."

Nick nods his understanding as he finishes putting on his shoes. "If not, we can find cars to siphon gas from," he notes with a shrug.

Alicia steps over then and grabs the box containing their clothes and other belongings, blinking in confusion at how heavy it actually is but not commenting. "Sounds good. I'll be waiting in the truck with Strand when you guys are ready."

"Ready?” Nicks asks Troy a moment later as he watches him finish lacing his boots.

Troy spares one last glance around the small space before looking to Nick and nodding. "Ready."

Once they step outside they find Consuelo, Tomás, Jorge, and at least a dozen of the other villagers waiting for them.

"We wanted to wish you a safe journey," Tomás tells them as he steps forward and holds out his hand to be shook.

Nick grins as he takes the other man’s hand in his own. "Thank you, for everything. I wouldn't have my family back if it weren't for all of your help," he says earnestly.

Tomás grins back as he lets Nick's hand go and moves to shake Troy's. "You're welcome. And remember, you're always welcome back here if things up north don’t pan out."

When he turns to her, Consuelo pulls Nick into a tight hug. "You take care of each other, okay? Alicia told me she plans to come back as soon as you’re settled up there, and if I find out either if you dropped the ball and got hurt I'm gonna come up there and kick both your asses."

Nick laughs at that, returning the hug wholeheartedly. "Thanks for the concern," he says with a smirk as he pulls away from her.

Not surprisingly, Troy looks a little throw off when Consuelo hugs him after letting go of Nick.

Nick tried his best not to laugh at the deer-in-the-headlights look he has as she let him go. 

"Drive safe," she says warmly as she steps back to stand beside Tomás.

The others that had gathered around them say their goodbyes, and with that Nick and Troy climb into their van. With one last look, Nick starts the engine and they drive off.

As their small caravan approaches the river, they spot a truck ahead. It’s parked sideways across the old dirt road where it meets the crumbling concrete stretch that leads back to the nearest town, both doors flung open wide with what appears to be clothes and supplies strewn about the ground.

Nick and Troy trade suspicious glances before coming to a stop about twenty feet away. They wait for Alicia and Strand to pull alongside, both siblings rolling down their windows and trading worried looks of their own.

"That's the truck we gave Madison," Strand says just loud enough for Nick to hear as he climbs out of the passenger side of their own truck, he has one of the handguns Nick had found at the ready, and he looks worried.

The rest of them exit their vehicles with the exception of Troy, each carrying a weapon as they slowly walk over to the seemingly abandoned vehicle.

Nick is the first one to round the truck, stepping around the front bumper as Strand makes his way around the back with Alicia in toe. The instant he’s on the other side he regrets it.

Madison stands up from her where she had been crouching beside the front driver’s side tire, she has a gun in her hands, and her expression is utterly confused. "Nick? What the hell!" There’s a crunch of gravel behind her and she turns her head quickly to see Strand standing at the tailgate of the vehicle with Alicia a few steps behind him. "I knew it! I knew you had to be lying to me about something! What the hell is this? What’s going on here!" she demands, taking a few steps back from the truck to put a little space between herself and Nick while allowing her to look back and forth between her children and friend more easily.

"What is this?" Nick repeats incredulously. "THIS,” he shouts, gesturing between himself, Strand, and Alicia with one hand while he tucks his own gun into the back of his pants with the other “ _ mom _ , is us getting away from you." His voice drips with the disdain he feels in that moment. All of the fury and hurt he’d been hiding towards her rearing its head.

"After everything I’ve done for you, you were just going to cut out and leave me without a word? I have done everything to keep you safe, I have lost  _ everything _ trying to keep you safe, and this is the thanks I get?" Madison questions, anger clearly close to boiling over as she stares down her eldest child. She takes a step towards him, her gun shaking a little in her hands with how tight her grip has become.

"Everything you've done has gone to shit, mom! Every time you try to protect us, you make things worse! Your way of protecting people just hurts everyone around you. Can’t you see that what you’re doing is going to get us all killed!" Nick argues, taking a step back at Madison's advance.

"How dare you!" she spits, taking another step towards Nick, causing him to take another one back in turn. "And you, what was that speech you gave about how you were done with your brother?" she asks bitterly as she turns briefly to face Alicia, who had slowly moved closer until she stood beside Strand at the back of the truck.

"Oh, I am done. I’m done watching you choose him over me at every turn. I’m done with your lies and manipulation. Nick may be a suicidal drug addict, but at least with him, I know where I stand," Alicia says pointedly while crossing her arms over her chest and staring her mother down with all the scornful anger she feels clear in her eyes.

Madison's jaw drops at her daughter’s words, utterly shocked by them. "Licia..."

"No, mom, don't even try to pull any of your bullshit on me," Alicia cut her off. "Just get in your truck and go. We don't want your help anymore."

"I'm your mother! You can't treat me like this,” Madison yells, shock reverting back to pure outrage once more.

A moment later, the sound of a vehicle door opening draws everyone's attention over to the van, where Troy now stands. The van’s door is open, and he stands behind it, using it as a sort of barrier between himself and the group that stood roughly twenty feet away.

"Madison," he says, voice giving away how unsettled he is to see her. His eyes are wide, and he has one hand gripping the top of the door tightly, the other obscured from view by the metal door in front of him.

Nick looks from Troy to Madison, whose eyes have gone wide as her mouth hangs slightly open in shock. She looks both horrified and a little like she’s seen a ghost at the same time. Mind trying to make sense of what she’s seeing in front of her.

Troy’s left temple and all around his left eye are still a bit bruised; the slowly healing wound from her attempt to kill him glaringly obvious against the temporarily discolored skin. Especially with the blue stitches that Consuelo had used to patch him back together still in place accenting the spider web-like-lines.

A beat later Nick sees Madison raising her gun out of the corner of his eye and he moves without hesitation. Lunging towards her, he balls up his hands together and hits her wrists, the force of the blow making her hands spasm and the gun she held fall to the ground. Before she has a chance to react, he kicks the gun aside and has his arms around her, holding her so that her arms are pinned at her sides. "No!" he shouts, trying desperately to hold her back.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" Madison screams. "How is he alive?" She struggles against Nick's hold, kicking and trying just about everything to get him to let go.

In the blink of an eye Strand is there in front of them, picking up Madison's fallen gun as Alicia runs to Troy, who stands frozen in horror at the sight before him.

"I went back for him!" Nick tells her, his anger coming to the surface with a vengeance. "I went back for him and he was still alive!" he seethes the words into her ear, wishing at that moment she had even the slightest clue as to how much pain she’s caused him. Wishes that she could see what a monster she is. "And now we’re leaving you, like you made me leave him," Nick tells her before he pushes Madison to the ground hard enough to send her sprawling in the dirt. 

He quickly steps around the open driver’s side door of the truck and leans in to shut it off and take the keys from the ignition. Once he has them, he holds them up so Madison can see from her pace on the ground, and then he throws them as far into the desert as he can.

"You're choosing him over  _ me _ ? All of you!?!?" Madison asks from where she’s pulling herself up onto her hands and knees on the dusty ground.

Alicia says nothing, her attention mainly on a clearly shaken Troy, whom she has a hand on the shoulder of as she tries to get him to breathe with her and take a seat back in the van.

"No, mom, we're choosing ourselves," Nick informs her resolutely before turning to walk back over to where the van is parked.

As Nick walks away, Madison looks to Strand, hurt, and betrayal clear in her eyes along with that ever-present rage.

Strand shakes his head as he empties the chamber and unloads the clip of her gun. He throws the single bullet and clip away just as Nick had thrown her keys a moment before. “I’m sorry, Madison, but Nicholas has a point. You seem to bring death and destruction everywhere you go.” With that, he tosses the empty gun on the ground a few feet away from her and turns to walk back to the truck he and Alica were driving.

"This is really how it's gonna be, Nick?" she can’t help but ask, voice still more angry than hurt as she watches her family climb into their respective vehicles and prepare to leave her behind.

"Yeah, mom, this is how it's gonna be," Nick says with one last glance her way before climbing behind the wheel and driving away.

Once they’re past Madison’s truck and driving down the road that would lead them out of Tijuana once again, Nick reaches out and grabs hold of Troy's hand where it rests in a fist on his leg. He threads their fingers together once Troy lets his grip relax, and he smiles reassuringly over at the taller man. "It's going to be alright now, Troy."

"Yeah," Troy agrees with a small, still somewhat shaky smile of his own. He still looks like he’s a little scared. Like he might break down at any moment. But he just squeezes Nick’s hand and lets his eyes slip closed as they drive along. 

Thing's didn’t quite go as planned, but in the end, they were safe. They were together. And they were getting the hell out of there and going where Madison could never hurt any of them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you all think? Did you notice the changes from the first version? Do you have any thoughts on what you think I'll change in the next installment? Let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/TrickyHannigram) for more fandom related fun!
> 
> Or you can also follow me on [ Twitch](https://www.twitch.tv/enbystiles) for weekly writing and gaming streams.


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